SMALL STARS TO ALL-STARS

I've been beating my head against the wall trying to figure out how CBS came up with its list of twenty contenders for "Big Brother All-Stars." Finally, after repeated requests emailed to Alison and Arnie, I was given my answer.

It turns out that there were All-Star subset lists, and from these the ultimate Top 20 names were taken.

The producers started with a list they began in the second season: the "Big Brother Bawl Stars." On that list was Bunky, of course, as well as Autumn from BB2 and April from BB6. Bunky was chosen for All-Stars from the group simply because he was able to do other things while crying: shave his back, dance some disco, fly around the backyard in a cape. April was a close tie for the spot but it was impossible for negotiations to continue when it was learned she hasn't stopped crying since BB6.

In the "Big Brother Stall Stars" category, up for consideration were all the HGs who left their mark in the BB bathroom: Maggie (who could forget the anonymous floater in the HOH toilet?), Scott (he of the unwashed tush), and Shannon (Hardy now sleeps with his toothbrush under his pillow). None of these people were sent to the house since enough turds were going in as it was.

There was only one person on the "Big Brother Squaw Stars" list and that was Nakomis. She named herself after a character in the poem "Hiawatha." The only other person to change his/her name was Mike, who adopted the name "Boogie." "Boogie" is not a Native American name. I'm not even sure it's regular American. 

Therefore, Mike was put in the "Big Brother Jabber Jaw Stars" along with many other former HGs, including Dana. They most certainly talked their way into a spot in the Top 20 - how else can you explain their inclusion?

From the "Big Brother Doll Stars" category came Erika and Janelle. Lisa was given a slot in the Doll Stars until the producers remembered the boil on her butt that she contracted during BB3. Unfortunately, this sent her straight to the "Big Brother Flaw Stars" list with Kent, who had that mole, and Tonya, the one with the boob that sprung a leak.

The "Big Brother Drawl Stars" list gave us Amy, Krista, and Chicken George. George was a shoo-in after it was determined that the BB budget couldn't withstand a three-month Citrona binge from Amy or Krista's nightly Nyquil allotment. All George ever asked for in the way of beverages was a couple of liter soda bottles so he could cut space goggles out of the plastic.

Ivette made it onto the "Big Brother Crawl Stars" list after she slithered under the bed to spy on Janelle toward the end of BB6. I'm still perplexed why she was picked for All-Stars over Dave, who, during BB4, snaked across the floor each and every day demonstrating his Special Ops training, and each and every night - well, at least one night - demonstrating Special Ops vomiting after sexual intercourse. 

Alison was on this list for crawling into bed with every male BB4 HG as well as making the one for "Big Brother Sprawl Stars" where she joined Chiara. 

Jack, of course, was placed in the "Fall Stars" category after he demonstrated his inability to keep his balance during competitions. Diane was chosen from this list for BB7, however, since falling for Drew kept her from the million bucks in BB5. Kaysar was picked as well, due to his well-known fall from grace during BB6, as was Howie, who fell on his head four or five years ago and hasn't been the same since.

"Big Brother Yee-Haw Stars" gave us Jase and Cowboy from BB5's Four Horsemen, both of whom made the All-Stars list. The "Brawl Stars" like Justin from BB2, Scott from BB4, and Mike and Eric from BB6 weren't considered, unfortunately. Both Erics made the "Fireball Stars" list but BB didn't want anyone in the house who might get drunk and try to extinguish the flames on the wall with their hoses.

"Apostle Paul Stars" Adria and Natalie weren't picked, but James was - probably because he needed another three months to actually read it. Danielle, handpicked by Marvin, made it into the house from the "Booty Call Stars." She beat out Josh from BB3, whose well-known booty slaps didn't actually qualify in the same way. Nor did Gerry's water-logged diaper.

There was only one person on the "Big Brother Shaved Ball Stars" list and that was Will, so he was automatically in. Same goes for the "Cue Ball RuPaul Stars." Marcellas stood alone on that one. As did Monica as the only "It's On, Y'all!" star.

The best list was certainly the one for "Awwwww Stars": Josh from BB1, Hardy, Jason, Eric from BB3, Roddy, Nathan, Justin from BB4, Willie Winkie, Drew. I don't get it. None of them made it into the Top 20. I would have worn out my little paw voting for a bit of male eye candy. 

Which reminds me - being on the "Big Brother Paw Stars" list wasn't enough to get Bunny in the house either. Sadly, the producers made the decision to choose people for this season who had actually been in the house before, not just pretended they were and then wrote about it. 

So I've decided to put together my own list:  "Bunny's Claw Stars," made up of non-soundstage residents like you and me.   In order to make the grade, you must write a no-holds-barred summary for a day when I need to get out into the sunlight.  Interested?  Get your claws out and let me know.

Hoppy trails,

LET'S PLAY BIG BROTHER KENO!

Here's how you play. Pick 12 faces from the ones you see below. Favorites aside, choose the ones you think will be going into the house.

(photo courtesy of http://www.bbchops.com/)

From left to right on the top row we have:  Alison(BB4), Bunky (BB2), Dana (BB4), Danielle (BB3), and Diane (BB5).           Row 2: Erika (BB4), George (BB1), Howie, Ivette, and James (all BB6).  Row 3: Janelle (BB6), Jase (BB5), Kaysar (BB6), Lisa (BB3), and Marcellas (BB3).  Last row:  Michael (BB5), Mike Boogie (BB2), Monica (BB2), Nakomis (BB5), and Will (BB2). 

Now, send your picks to me at bitobunny@hotmail.com. If you get all twelve right, you will win twenty-five grand. Well, maybe not that much since the Bunny Fun Club isn't exactly mega-lucrative. Let's say twenty-five dollars. Except I'll probably need that money for things like carpal tunnel medicine and a back brace - you know how these long hours at a computer can kill you.

So how about this? The winner gets an all-expense paid trip to the BB finale in September, provided I've saved up enough air miles by then. Only I don't imagine I will since I have no plans to leave my chair for the next three months.

I tell you what. I'll award the winner with a top-notch, state-of-the-art big shiny barbeque grill. Right now it's in my backyard and I'm going to be throwing a few weiners on it in a bit, being that today's the Fourth of July. But right after that I'll clean it up and zip it off to the winner. That is, if I can find a box in my garage big enough to ship it in. And if FedEx will take it, which I've heard isn't all that easy since they have to find room on a plane and they don't like to do that.

How about this? If you win, I'll keep your shiny barbeque grill in my backyard and tell everyone that it's yours. I promise I'll do that. In fact, tonight I'll tell my guests that they're eating burgers and dogs courtesy of the winner of Big Brother Keno. You can reimburse me for the meat later. The mustard's on me.

Go now. Play hard to win. 

And have a wonderful Fourth!

Hoppy trails,

Live Feed Summary for Tuesday, July 4, 2006

The Big Brother Keno game is now over. Thank you for your entries. 

The results of the contest are in. Out of 10,000 game players, there were 9, 186 winners - pretty much everybody who didn't pick Cowboy. Therefore, you will all get access to my gleaming barbeque grill once every few years or so. 

Meanwhile, while you're waiting for your turn, you might be interested in knowing that the HGs have already entered their new soundstage home. Read no further if you want the secrets kept from you until the TV show airs tonight. 

The winners of America's Vote were announced on July 3rd as well as the producers' picks. After the names were revealed, the remaining contestants competed for another two spots in the house. That makes a total of 14 HGs: George from BB1; Will and Mike Boogie from BB2; Danielle and Marcellas from BB3; Alison and Erika from BB4; Jase, Nakomis, and Diane from BB5; Janelle, Kaysar, James, and Howie from BB6.

Unfortunately, Cowboy didn't make the corral, nor did Bunky, both of whom would have provided some comedic relief. I know without a doubt that Cowboy was ready to share some awesome new naked hat tricks with us and that Bunky was going to be doing happy leaps in his Superman cape once he got a good look at Cowboy's lasso. Or Howie's laser. 

Lisa didn't make it in either. Or maybe she did. I haven't seen her or heard her, but then I never saw her or heard her throughout the entire run of BB3. 

Three other former HGs didn't make the cut. For Monica it won't be "Awwwwn!" this time and for Ivette it's back to BoBo. It's just as well since one can hardly expect excellent game play from (1) a person who hasn't changed her catch phrase in five years, and (2) a lesbian. 

Don't get me wrong. Lesbians are what you want in your porn video on Saturday night - but in the game of BB, they're a wash-out since there are never any other lesbians to help them sleep their way to the top. 

Also missing from the line-up is Dana, the one who turned the game on its head during BB4. She did it for the love of a good-looking man. A good-looking man who walked around in a jumbo super-absorbent orange towel for the duration of the season. Where IS Justin today? And more importantly, where is that towel? I've been watching Ebay for it for two years.

In spite of the missing persons, we do have a pretty good mixture for game play. We also have a change in the HOH format. Instead of one HOH, we have two Heads of Household. No word on whether or not they have to sleep together in the same bed, but that shouldn't be a problem if one of them is always Alison.

This time, however, the two are Jase and Janelle. There's a new rule that they have to agree on which HGs to nominate for eviction, and if they can't concur, then the two HOH go up on the block instead. Danielle, already working the game and working it hard, tells George that everyone in the house is afraid of a strong alliance between the four cast members of BB6. She comes up with a plan that would make it possible to eliminate one of them: Janelle.

Her idea is to convince Jase to refuse agreement with Janelle on the nominations, forcing themselves to go up for eviction. "Then the rest of the house can vote to get rid of Janey," she says. 

Word gets around about the plan and when it reaches James, he shares the rumor with Janelle. She says she doesn't think Jase will risk putting himself on the block. "Who should we nominate?" she asks James. He replies, "I don't care as long as it's not me. Maybe Nakomis since she's smart at this game."

Yes, you remember Nakomis from BB5. She's the one who thought up the Six-Finger Plan. Most people think it was a brilliant strategic move, but I was watching the live feeds the day she came up with it. It was really just an accident. She was merely trying to find a place on her body that wasn't already covered in tattoos. When she discovered a few bare patches on all but four digits of her hands, she yelled out, "Six fingers! That's the answer!" Of course, if she's been to the tattoo parlor since then, she may accidentally stumble on a Two-Finger Plan this time.

While everyone else is strategizing, Howie, of course, isn't. He hasn't grown up any over the last year and lets us know we're in for another one-note season: boobies, boobies, boobies. Danielle has already given him the shove-off, Diane ignores him completely, and when he tells Alison that she's a dream come true, she shoots back that she may be his biggest nightmare. 

Danielle has a theory that Erika and Marcellas are tied in with the four from BB6. She also believes that Marcellas has issues with her and wants to see her evicted as soon as possible. "I could be the first one nominated. Me and Dr. Will."

Dr. Will may not be going anywhere. Jase asks him about his alliance with Boogie, and tells him that he's looking for security. Will asks him if teaming up means he'll have to wear one of those hideous mandannas from Season 5. Okay, he doesn't actually say that, but you know he's thinking it. 

Speaking of issues for Marcellas, he has a big one. Turns out that he's having trouble going to the bathroom in front of the cameras. I think I know what the problem is. You may recall that Marci is a major germaphobe. I bet every time he sits down on the toilet, his thoughts wander to all the bacteria that could still be lingering there, left over from Scott's BB5 prize-winning poops. I feel his pain.

Marcellas may not be off to a good start, but the season seems to be. I hope you'll check in with me to find out what's happening on the live feeds - the stuff that DOESN'T make it on the air. See you tomorrow?

Hoppy trails,

All-Stars Aglow on Stellar First Night

Live Feed Summary for Thursday, July 6, 2006

The video feeds went live tonight, the HGs' fourth night in the house. Jase and Janelle, as HOH partners, have nominated Alison and Danielle for eviction. Dani because she exposed her game hand too early and Alison because she's been over-exposed in general. 

Tomorrow the Veto Competition will take place, and it's obviously on Alison's mind. She's quiet and subdued. Danielle, on the other hand, is drinking wine and regaling a hot tub full of HGs with stories of her BB3 season. There are plenty, but none of them are about Jason - so of course, I'm uninterested.

Many of the girls have changed physically since we last saw them. They are thinner and most of them have longer hair.   Some of them have increased in boob size, a protective measure in anticipation of household competitions where additional padding is a plus - and, of course, there's the added value of keeping Howie's vote.

Among the men, the only obvious change is the color of Chicken George's feathery locks. He has abandoned the blue dye from BB1 for baby chick yellow with a touch of rooster red. Very Poultry Chic. 

Speaking of hair color, I would be remiss if I didn't report on the latest rainbow that is Nakomis. I think Longfellow said it best in one of his famous verses from "Hiawatha," Nakomis' namesake poem:

By the shores of Gitchegumee
Sits Nakomis, hued Nakomis
She of pink hair and of white hair
Plus a streak of brown roots showing
Yellow tufts can not come calling
Yellow tufts belong to Georgie
Two houseguests in technicolor
Visions in Las Vegas neon

A wardrobe inspection notes that Alison is donned in over-sized medical scrubs tonight (huh?), Boogie is back with his signature stream of headgear (topping off newly-highlighted hair), and Marcellas brought the fluffy white robe and flip-flops from home. Kaysar is wearing the FBI hat he wore relentlessly during BB6, but so far Jase's mandanna hasn't made an appearance nor has a single polka dot been spied on Erika. (Be grateful for small favors.)

George, anxious to show Bunny that he knows how to follow her rules, dons a memorable hat of his own and a shirt that will keep him from the sting of Bunny's barbs for a very, very long time. 

The HGs are gathered in the backyard for most of the evening - some are in the hot tub, some are lounging on the long red couch around the firepit, and a few are playing billiards on a pool table set up next to the couch. Erika and Kaysar seem to be courting the first romance of the season as they flirt with each other while playing Eight Ball. Erika tells Kaysar he looks like Omar Sharif and she would like to marry him. Kaysar says that since he's a Muslim and she's a Jew, they could send a message to the world. 

Just as things begin to sizzle, Marcellas interrupts the conversation. Sharif don't like it.

He also doesn't like it when he reaches up to scratch his nose and Erika points out that people watching the live feeds will think he's picking it. Kaysar wants them to know - "them" being Bunny - that he is following the rules and intends to leave nose-picking out of BB7. (We thank you.)

In the way of game talk, a conversation is overheard between Alison, Nakomis, George, and Diane. 

Diane to Ali: I don't think you have much to worry about even if you don't win the Veto. I don't think you're the big target, but we'll let you know.
Ali: George, have you been approached about how you would vote?
George: No.
Diane: You really can't think about it until after the competition.
George: You do need a group to stick together.
Nakomis: Definitely.  Hey, George, want me to dye your hair back to blue?

George and Nakomis:  my pick for first alliance formed in the throes of Clairol.

James tells Alison that she should be "feeding Danielle more beer." Alison says, "I don't need to do that. I'm not against Danielle right now."
James: You know you're one of the most feared players in BB.
Alison: Me?
James: Hell, yes.
Alison: Maybe I had my reign three years ago.
James: But that's what makes you dangerous.

Actually, James, I'm more worried about the danger that Ali's IN right now. Those baggy scrubs are so long that she's tripping everywhere she walks. And we all remember what happened to Britney Spears when she took a spill because of her way-too-long pants. Baby Federline, resting comfortably in his mother's arms, took a flying leap into the air. Fortunately, Alison isn't in danger of dropping anything valuable, but she could fall and break her nose........No, wait.

Alison goes to bed early in order to rest for tomorrow's battle for the Veto. James and Boogie, who view Alison as a fierce competitor, plan to garner votes to get her evicted. They begin to tally them up.

James: Kaysar, Howie, and myself....you and Will....that makes five.
Boogie: We need two more, right? To make it a vote of 7 to 5.
James: No, because with two nominees and two HOH, that makes it 5 to 5. We need Marcellas or Erika. Alison is already passed out, getting her rest. She's a gamer, man. As much as I like hanging out with her, she's got to go. In competitions, she's awesome!
Boogie: Yeah, I know. Better get her out now. Unless the Veto comp's physical and she wins it.
Bunny: No problem there. She'll trip over those scrubs before she's even out of the gate.

Meanwhile, while Alison is gaining strength, Dani is.....well, here's Dani:

She does manage to get around to game play before the night is over. She asks Mike Boogie for an update. He tells her she shouldn't worry.
Danielle: Don't you think Season 6 will try to keep me around?
Boogie: Yeah, I think so.
Danielle: It's not me that they need to worry about.
Boogie: That's what I'm saying to them. That they can vote you out any week, but Alison will burrow into the ground and screw everyone up.

Jase and Janelle are allowed to share the HOH bed, but Marcellas is sleeping in there with Janelle instead. James begs Janelle to let him bunk with her. "Boogie is stinking up my room with his farts," he says. Janelle apologizes to James, saying she already has a bedmate.

I do feel sorry for James. I was watching the feeds when Boogie was in bed, alone in the room. He cut one so loud that it almost shut down RealPlayer, and a full ten minutes later when his roomies joined him, the smell was still so strong that they did a complete turnaround in the doorway. Boogie apologized, but he really needs to be careful. If he continues to bathe himself in a cloud of gaseous funk, those new highlights of his will turn pea green.

Danielle finally calls it a night, as do Boogie and George. But things are just heating up in the HOH room, where Erika, Janelle, and Marcellas are discussing their votes. They all agree that Alison needs to go first since she is so strong in physical competition. "I just want to stay longer than Danielle," says Marcellas. "I needed therapy after BB3 because of her. I could have spent that money on shoes!"

Janelle says it was Jase's idea to nominate Alison, but that she thinks he wants Danielle to be evicted first. She will talk to him and tell him the house favors Ali's eviction.

After Erika leaves the HOH room, Janelle and Marcellas tuck themselves in for the night. They have formed a tight alliance, and one of the perks of having a bond with Marci is that you get to hear him dish the dirt. They talk about Will ("He's had lipo surgery!") and Boogie ("Those highlights!") and Howie ("He's in a battle of the wits with Will. Except one is a wit and the other is a nit!")

With Marcellas around, who needs Bunny?

Hoppy trails,

(Photos courtesty of BigBrotherUpdates.com)
 
 

Every Honey Loves Some Bunny Sometime

Live Feed Summary for Friday, July 7, 2006

Nakomis is the first one awake this morning, and she begins her day with a bit of sewing. She's the picture of matronly contentment with her needle and thread - just like your grandmother, if your grandmother had pink hair and a tattoo the size of Texas on her neck.

After she completes her mending, Nakomis heads to the kitchen to begin cleaning up. Who knew she would be the most mature of the group? Up before everyone else, darning socks, wiping down the stove and soaking the dishes - and yet she still has time to color coordinate the top half of her hair with the bottom half. I'm totally feeling her.

Danielle gets up soon after Nakomis and assists her in getting the chores done. They talk about BB's new twist: the random selection of two HGs to compete for the Veto. The competition will take place today and they are anxious to see how it works. "It should play havoc with the alliances," says Nakomis.

BB announces that the comp is about to take place so the other HGs begin to wander one by one into the kitchen. Boogie is wearing a bandana, the next piece in a constant stream of headgear. He and Will complain that George's snoring kept them awake all night. Dani suggests that they ask BB for ear plugs. Boogie says he's asking for a hatchet.

Nakomis is wearing a shirt that her sister made her. It says "Cool beans!" on the back, which was Nakomis' catch phrase during BB5. I meant to ask her what it meant but never got around to it. It's perplexing to one who prefers her frijoles toasty. 

Last night, Janelle slept in the cutest pajamas I have ever, EVER seen:

You might recall that last season I could think of no one else. It was Janie, Janie, Janie - night and day, day and night. Sure, a quick snippet of Hardy would flash before my eyes now and again, but most of the time I lived and breathed the luscious Janelle.  Never having been gay before, it took me by surprise. It was all so new to me, yet so exciting. I understood the allure of Liza Minnelli for the first time in my life.

Then, the season was over, and I returned to my former heterosexual self. Janelle was history. She no longer permeated every thought of every day including during lunchtime when I used to pretty much focus on the Soup of the Day. But now this. Bunny jammies. She's dreaming of me just as I was dreaming of her. I'm a sucker for romance, and if sleeping in a pajama top with my picture all over it isn't love, I don't know what is. Janie Doll, you had me at hare-o. 

All HGs are getting ready for the Veto competition. Danielle and Jase begin to dance around the room, delighting Bunny to no end. Let me interject here that I like the new and improved Jase. Sure, I'd like to see a bit more elbow-flapping and alien-sound-emitting ("Nark!"), but I'm delighted that his first thought this season wasn't to gather all the men and dress them in women's panties for a parade. I still have nightmares.

BB chooses George and Kaysar as the random Veto competitors. They are playing with the two HOH (Jase and Janelle) and the two nominees (Danielle and Alison). The challenge involves stinky, messy garbage and the dirty players head for the shower as soon as the comp is over. Janelle is declared the winner - no surprise since romantic thoughts of Bunny no doubt compelled her to win. (Shut up. You know it's true.)

But wouldn't you know it. Just as I give my heart back to Janelle, with a piece of it saved for George and his rabbit shirt, I hear this: 

"Ohhhhh, Bunnnnnyyyyy!"

Say what?

It sounds like Erika. For a minute I think I'm hearing things, but then I realize that no, someone is calling my name. But maybe it's not me they're yelling for. Maybe it's Janelle's pajamas. I hear they're expensive and it's highly possible that Erika is trying to entice them out of the drawer.

But then I see Erika and Danielle making little rabbit ears out of their fingers and putting them behind their heads. "Bunny, Bunny, Bunny!" they say. I'm taken aback. I'm speechless. (Yeah, it happens.) I'm totally flummoxed. Because you see, this is no subtle shirt shout-out, no hop-alongs on pajama bottoms - this is a straight up now tell me "Girl, we ain't playin'!" love love me do "Bunny, you it!" kind of shout-out. It's...it's...it's.....ALL ABOUT THE BUNNY! 

Given that, what in the heck am I supposed to do about it?

I mean, I can't be nice to EVERYbody, you know? We're talking four people now who have asked for Bunny's leniency in one form or another. Four is a lot. It's definitely my limit. I mean I'll do what I can, but when you're talking FOUR, you're liable to forget who they are sometimes. So my apologies in advance if I get mixed up and accidentally say something I sort of promised I wouldn't.

Alison is having a difficult time recovering from the Veto competition. 

She tells Danielle that she just wants to go home now "and I'm not begging to stay." I should say something here about people who should just suck it up and get out there and work the room because you never know what might happen- just look at Nicole and Sheryl from BB2 and Marcellas and Lori from BB3 and all the other examples. 

But sometimes people don't care to listen, so there's probably no point in telling them/her that the only reason they're even on the block is because they're a bad ass player and everyone is afraid of them/her and it's such a compliment that you should be carrying your fierce self around that house like you own it. But then if you did we wouldn't have that great picture above and that's just TOO funny.

Of course, I really can't root for Alison to stay in the game now, even though I hate to see ANY of the great BB players of all time leave - but now that Danielle shouted out my name five minutes ago, I gotta vote Dani. Scratch my back and all that. Sorry, Ali, but if you had just slurped a little coffee out of a mug with my photo on it, we wouldn't even be having this conversation.

The HGs are still discussing the nominations among themselves, trying to decide whether it's the best game move to evict Danielle or Alison. James says that Alison is stronger physically and is more apt to lie. Marcellas says he knows the people on the internet will think he's crazy if he doesn't vote to evict Dani since she was instrumental in his BB3 demise. Howie thinks that Alison has allies in Diane and Nakomis. Jase thinks Ali will shoot herself in the foot eventually, but Dani is "silent but deadly." Janelle wants to keep Danielle in the game.

Howie: In BB history, Danielle, Alison, and Will are the masterminds.
Jase: Danielle is a mastermind, Alison's a hardcore competitor, Will is the emperor! 

It's now workout time for Will, Boogie, and Howie. Will tells Howie, "You're fat!" and that he needs to do some cardio to lose ten pounds. Howie tells Will, "You're pale as a ghost!" and that he needs to work on his tan. The two of them spar back and forth while Boogie eggs it on. Joining them in the backyard are Dani and Marcellas. Danielle tries to help Marcellas lift weights but he says it hurts and doesn't want to continue. 

Stop being so silly, Marci. You don't actually have to work out in order to be in the backyard with all the shirtless boys. It's your right as the only gay BB All-Star to stare at them outright whenever you want to. 

While the guys are working out, Janelle and Nakomis head upstairs for a game of chess. Nakomis is decked out in a do made famous by Princess Grace except the hair of the princess was.....well, not pink.

Speaking of drastic changes in hair color, what up with Diane? The skunk streak from BB5 is thankfully gone, but I think she accidentally used two boxes of Darker than Dark Chocolate Extra-Dark Mocha hair dye instead of one. Somewhere that skunk streak is just crying to get out. (Paging Nakomis.)

During the chess game, Janelle asks Nakomis her opinion on which nominee should be evicted. Nakomis answers that neither of the women will hurt her or help her in the game. "No one's really talking to me about it. What am I missing here?  Is something going on I don't know about?"
 
 

By the shores of Gitchegumee
Sits Nakomis, wise Nakomis
She of few words, always thinking
Brain inside the hair that's pinking
Al or Dan? She isn't quibbling
Lest one come to be a sibling

Outside in the hammock, Boogie and Diane talk strategy. They both agree to go after the HGs from BB6.   Diane is still upset about some things Janelle said about her last summer. "She said I was too ugly for Drew." Diane, I don't think she meant YOU were ugly - I just think she wasn't too crazy about your hairstyle. The skunk streak and all that. 

The two of them continue to talk about the BB6ers, saying that James is a dangerous player and Kaysar is a snake in the grass. "Howie looks retarded physically," says Diane. This from the person who a second ago was upset that Janelle called her "ugly." This is like the pot calling the kettle Darker than Dark Chocolate Extra-Dark Mocha brown.

After Janelle finishes her chess game with Nakomis, she begins one with Kaysar. They are finally alone to compare notes and strategize. Kaysar says that no one will talk game with him, and that worries him. Janelle points out that the entire house seems to be out to get the HGs from BB6. She thinks they may be able to pull Nakomis to their side. Kaysar feels confident that Erika is behind them. 
Kaysar: In time, we may be able to turn Will.
Janelle: Are you nuts????
Bunny: What she said.

Marcellas shares that he has finally been able to have a bowel movement on camera. FYI.

Alison has packed her bag already and this becomes the topic of conversation in a private moment between Erika and Janelle.
Erika: She seems really defeated. I don't think she's going to campaign to stay.
Janelle: I know.
Erika: It's so unlike her. She normally has that fire in her. She doesn't like to lose.
Bunny: I don't get it either. It's like the moment she put on those XXL scrubs, she was destined for failure.
Janelle: Totally.

The evening ends with Will, Danielle, and Diane talking strategy. 
Will: I think BB6 is working together but I'm not sure.
Diane: All but James. Howie will do whatever Janelle and Kaysar tell him to do.
Will: I think George, Erika, and Nakomis are playing as individuals. Kaysar thinks he's playing as an individual but he's not.
Diane: Normally I can read Jase, but this time, I got nothin'. He won't even talk to me.
Danielle: Janelle can win this thing. Who should we target first?
Will: The smartest move would be to put up Howie and Janelle.
Danielle: It will all depend on who gets HOH. Will they be brave enough to make a move?
Will: I hope so. I don't want this to be some pussy version of "Big Brother."

No, Will, that was BB3. Remember when Lisa said she based her strategy on what she had learned by watching her cat? The girl ended up winning, proving once again that if a girl uses her pussy, she can pretty much get anything she wants.

The HGs switch up beds for the night, giving George the HOH bed since he snores. Will and Boogie are looking forward to a good night's sleep (without having to hack up the Chicken Man), as is Bunny - but first, does anyone know where she can score a pair of the cutest pajamas EVER?

Hoppy trails,

(Photos today courtesy of Seamonkey)
 
 

Ali the Ice Queen Begins to Thaw; Her Strategy Not All Wet

Live Feed Summary for Saturday, July 8, 2006

Just like yesterday morning, Nakomis and Danielle are the first ones up. They meet in the kitchen where the first topic of conversation is Nak's tattoos. I'm not sure if she has added any since her last stint in the house, but I think she should. There should be some sort of commemorative inking for each time she plays BB, much like the Dixie Chicks who celebrate the release of each album with chicken foot etchings on their own feet. Nak couldn't do the chicken foot - too "George" - but she could do a peanut butter jar or a Golden Veto or something.

George soon joins them and they retreat to the backyard to have coffee. Danielle says that the BB house becomes a security blanket of sorts and when it comes time to leave, you're afraid to. "It's weird," she says. 

You know, these are the things that interest Bunny. It's the psychological aspect of the game that drew her to it in the first place. (Sloshie from BB1 kept her there in the second place, but that's a whole other thing.)

Alison is out of bed early, but she's still feeling the repercussions from the Veto challenge. Dr. Will recommended ice, so Ali grabs the first glacier that sails by and puts it on her head.

And Alison isn't the only one with head issues this morning.

(Photos courtesy of Seamonkey and TVClubhouse.com)

Everyone is up now. No one seems to notice that Will is wearing his infamous flowered shorts from Season 2. I know he's a busy man, but it's a shame he hasn't had time to shop for a new wardrobe since 2001.

Howie asks Diane, "How far did you get in your season? Third place? Drew chose Cowboy to go to the finals with him?" 
Diane: Yeah. If I had known I was going out third place, I would have rather gone out earlier. I couldn't even enjoy my time in sequester. I would just cry in my room for eight hours. 
Bunny: I'll co-sign that, Diane. Drew didn't choose me either after I gave him summary love for the entire season. I've been sobbing for a year and nine months.

Drew, are you listening? Papa, can you hear me? A year and nine months. I've been hanging on, hoping to see you again in the BB All-Star house. But no. They say you were too quiet so they didn't ask you back. I'm very angry at you about that. You had two years to develop a personality, and you wouldn't do it for me?

Diane finds Nakomis to talk some strategy. She says that she thinks they should keep Alison in the game rather than Danielle. "She would take the pressure off of us for awhile," she says. "The only way we can get rid of some of the stronger players like Janelle is to backdoor them." She then warns Nakomis that they need to stay away from Jase. Nakomis agrees that he's unpredictable, but he continues to tell them that he wants the BB5 group to stay together.

Meanwhile, Mike Boogie, esteemed businessman, entrepreneur, restaurant owner and manager, holds court in the pool in his widdle inner tube.

(Photo courtesy of BigBrotherUpdates)

Others are gathered on the red sofa outdoors, talking about nothing in particular. My ears perk up when Erika mentions Johnny Depp, star of "Pirates of the Caribbean" I and II. For a moment I turn my attention from the BB house to thoughts of a ship in the ocean, mantled by a young Cap'n Jack. I'm in the scene, a tiny rabbit needing protection, peeking out from my hiding place in an empty barrel, hoping to be stroked by the tender hand of the cap'n who upon seeing me, realizes he needs someone special to pet during the long six-month journey at sea. Otherwise, he's bound to begin eyeing his shipmates, and we'll get "Brokeback Mateys" at the theater instead of "Pirates III."

Howie's talk of boobies is getting to the ladies. James warns him that he is making some of them angry. "Who?" Howie asks. 
James: Danielle, Diane, and Alison.
Howie: I don't care. They're going home. It's not their f'ing house.
James: You're Hurricane Howie. You're the star of the show! But you need to be careful. The problem is, you aren't playing the Nerd Herd this season. If you go off on someone now, they will use that as a rationalization to put you on the chopping block.
Howie: I had no shame last season; I have even less this season.

Discussion turns to Jase and which side he is on.
James: I think he has a moral side to him. I respect him for what he did for Janie. They wanted him to refuse to agree with her on the nominees so they could send her home. He wouldn't do it.
Howie: Jase is with us. He loves us.
James: He has earned my loyalty. I'll go reassure him that we're on his side.

Instead of finding Jase, James runs into Boogie in the hall. They whisper in a corner about sending Ali home. Boogie says they probably need to get her out now. "I like her, but this is a tough year. Besides, she's really playing up that headache." "You can say that again," says Bunny. "And the worst of it is, I can't stop singing 'Ice, Ice, Baby.'"

Boogie talks about people on the internet watching him. "I don't give a flying f--- if they think I pick my nose too much," he says. 

The only problem is, Boogie, that WE DO care. Some of us are eating our lunch when we're watching, others are trying to teach their kids not to pick in public and then they look up at the computer screen and say, "HE'S doing it, Mommy!" Then there's the germ issue - you're living in a closed environment where bacteria grows easily and spreads from HG to HG. Think of the old guy - Chicken George isn't in the best of health.

I have to say, though, Boogie, that you seem to have that nervous tic under control this season. I've been keeping a tally and so far you're looking good.
Number of times you've picked your nose on camera: 1
Number of times you've picked your ear on camera: 5 or 6
Number of times Howie's picked his ass on camera: Doesn't matter 'cause we aren't talking about him
Number of times you've picked on Howie: 277
Number of times you've tried to pick up Diane: 0
Number of times Diane's tried to pick YOU up: 277

Just kidding about that last one. Diane admits to having a crush on both Boogie and Will but she's merely shared the information, not acted upon it. However, the night is young.

Hold on a minute. The camera is zooming in on Boogie. Jerry, go to the tote board. Looks like we have a new nose pick total. It's only one nostril, though, so let's just give him half a point.

It's workout time for the boys. They take a couple of the kitchen chairs to the backyard and use them for pull-ups. Will breaks one, so Boogie decides they should dance for exercise instead. He wants Alison to help him choreograph another dance routine a la BB2's 2Hype. Alison is into it and begins to come up with ideas.

It is nice to see Alison without an iceberg on her head, doing her best to become part of the group. She seems to have changed her stance on campaigning and is participating in the fun and joining in on conversations. And she's lost the long scrubs, too, which makes it way easier for her to dance.

She begins to develop a top-notch routine but apparently overdoes it. The stress from dancing sends her back to the ice tray. 

(Photo courtesy of Bonzacat) 

However, this time it won't stop her from playing the game. Nakomis sits with her and Alison asks her where the voting stands.
Alison: I think Erika wants me to go.
Nakomis: Yeah.
Alison: What about Kaysar?
Nakomis: He will do whatever they tell him to do.
Alison: Have you talked to George?
Nakomis: No. All he wants to talk about is when he gets to drive his car again.

Janelle has made some of her famous apple crisp and everyone gathers around for a bowl of crisp and ice cream. They talk about prizes won during their various seasons, and talk turns to the Clothing Sprees. 
Alison: In our season, they gave a rabbit coat to Erika. In the middle of summer!
Erika: Yeah, who wants a rabbit coat in the middle of summer?
Bunny: Yeah, who?

Boogie lies down in the backyard hammock with Nakomis to talk strategy. He wants to know where she stands on getting out the players from BB6. "I'm down with it," she says. He pumps her for information about Jase, and she says they need to watch him. "He's a different person this time. In BB5 he was the alpha male, this time he's playing low-key. He's a good gamer and he notices everything."

Later in the evening, Jase shares with everyone that BB made him look crazy on TV. He was just trying to be funny for the other HGs. "When I was making 'nark' noises and stuff during that long HOH comp, everyone was laughing. And when I peed on the towel that time, I was locked up in that bedroom with nowhere to go to the bathroom. I kept telling BB that I really needed to pee, but they wouldn't let me. So I did what I had to do."

I hear you, Jase. I was loving your 'nark' thing and all that. Great entertainment. However, your towel whizz got totally trumped by Mini-Me on "Surreal Life." You just can't top a drunk naked dwarf peeing in the corner. 

For the last few days, Marcellas has talked about the end of BB3 with this person and that. His Golden Veto, the one he didn't use, is hanging on the wall of the All-Star house as part of a BB memorabilia showcase and is a constant reminder of his demise. Will brings up the subject again, telling Danielle in front of Marcellas that she was robbed of the prize.

Marcellas: No, Will, you're wrong. Danielle was not robbed. The Diary Room had nothing to do with it. It was people coming together and saying they liked Lisa better.
Will: She ran the game. Jason didn't do much.
Danielle: Jason was the executioner. 
Marcellas: Danielle, you got on everyone's nerves because you talked about your kids all the time. And why would you take Jason to the end? The most likeable player in the game? You don't take the person to the end who can beat you.

Danielle: You call me this cold, heartless player, but my heart was always with Jason.
Marcellas: You could have won against Amy. Even though you stabbed me in the back, I would have voted for you to win over Amy. Lisa played a great game, appropriate for her season.  If you're going to play this game, you have to think about the end game.
Danielle: I played to win.

Marcellas goes inside to the kitchen, upset with Will for saying that Danielle should have won. "Will wasn't on my radar but he is now!" (Not to be confused with "gaydar," which is different.) 

Danielle follows him in, joining Erika, Howie, and Janelle. Marcellas reiterates once again that Lisa deserved to win the game and Erika agrees with him. She thinks that people don't understand that Lisa's quiet way of playing was a strategy - "a different one from Danielle's but a strategy all the same." Janelle and Howie come to the conclusion that Erika is going to try and play Lisa's game.

Howie: She better not try to throw the HOH comps. I'll be all over her if she does that. And Nakomis better watch it, too.
Janelle: Why?
Howie: Boogie was doing an impression of Monica for me and Nakomis told him to stop. She can't control who tells the jokes around here. Now I want to destroy her. I'm going to blast her.                                        Janelle: I think she could be on our side, though.
Howie: She's a nerd herder. Just like the ones from BB6. She's just like April and those guys.

Janelle: I'm going to be upset if Erika throws HOH. She's supposed to be helping us.
Howie: She'd be smart to protect us. I'll destroy her, too, if she doesn't try.
Bunny: Leave her alone, Howie. 
Howie: She brought in some polka dots, Bunny. I saw them.
Bunny: No lie? Then she's all yours.

Dazed by the idea that Erika may have ignored her warning, Bunny looks for ice to ease the pain in her head. Of course, the last of it is dripping down Ali's forehead, so she has no choice but to retreat to bed, hoping for a better day - and a full ice tray - tomorrow.

Hoppy trails,

SirLinksalot: Big Brother 7 All Stars