Bunny's Live Feed Summary for Sunday, September 4, 2005

Janelle in Good Graces After Matching Morphed Faces

Saturday after Ivette won HOH, she quickly nominated Howie and Janelle for eviction. Then the HGs were led to the backyard for a repeat of the POV Face Morphing challenge from last year. Janelle fared well, sailing through the competition to a win - which is more than can be said for Bunny, who sat traumatized in a corner for the remainder of the evening after being faced with morphed mini-eyebrows and unoriginal chins. 

Facing eviction, Howie came up with a plan to offer Ivette the Bahamas vacation won earlier by Janelle in exchange for keeping him in the game. Janelle didn't think Ivette would bite - who would after having been bitten once herself in the game by Michael - and reminded Howie that Bunny had already bought sun tan lotion and a ruffled bikini. 

April was convinced that BB rigged the game so that Janelle could win. Ivette disagreed, saying that God gave Janelle the POV because it forces her to get rid of Howie, someone who is harder to evict. April teared up thinking of Howie leaving, the same Howie who called her husband fat and her dog ugly. The three ladies left in the Friendship gathered around Howie to console him, ignoring the winner.

Later, the Friendship gathered in the HOH room to turn on the spy screen in order to locate Janelle. "Congratulations, Janelle," said Maggie. "You may have won today, but you are the most hated HG ever." Pardon me, Maggie, but I think you're wrong about that. The most hated HG ever was Dr. Will, but then he turned out to be the most loved HG ever, so I guess he doesn't count. Therefore, my money's on Boogie. Everybody hates a nose-picker.

This morning, Ivette is the first one out of bed. Of course, it's almost noon, but who cares? The ants are happy to have more time with the leftover apple crisp.

As soon as the rest of the Friendship wake up, they waste no time bashing Janelle. It's become quite a sport with these people, and today it goes on and on. All. Day. Long. At the end of the day, April approaches Howie and Janelle to remind them that Janelle has no chance of winning BB6. Janelle says that it's the Summer of Secrets, and maybe the biggest secret is that America votes for the winner. Ah, now wouldn't that be sweet?

Hoppy trails,
 
 

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Bunny's Live Feed Summary for Tuesday, September 6, 2005

April Takes It On the Jaw But Keeps Her Chin Up

In yesterday's Veto ceremony, Janelle used the powerful medal to remove herself from the line of eviction fire. Ivette put April on the block in her place, seating a different blonde next to Howie. This was April's first time on the block, and with her chin quivering, she expressed her fear that her mother will be upset when she sees that April's been nominated. Personally, I'm thinking April's wardrobe may be more of an embarrassment to her mother, but then I'm funny like that. For all I know, her mother wears a ruffled bikini, too. 

In her speech, Ivette didn't mention that April is a pawn. "Why didn't you say that?" she asked. "I didn't think of it," replied Ivette. "Oh, well, seventy-five percent of everything we say isn't heard by anyone anyway," said April. Uh, wrong.

You know, I have to say here that April deserves a pat on the back for handling her tough withdrawal from nicotine. We should all give a collective "high five" to the woman for accomplishing quite a goal. In fact, I think that's why she wore hot pink so much during the last few weeks. It's part of the "Scare Yourself Into Quitting" method to stop smoking. The way it works is this: every time you have the urge to puff, you put on the ugliest thing in your wardrobe and then stand in front of a mirror. BOO! You're cured. 

The only downside is that those of us watching are compelled to light up or take a drink in the same moment. It goes without saying that I now keep a full bottle of bourbon next to my chair on Thursday nights in anticipation of ruffles, spots, and varying shades of fuschia.

Howie and Janelle had a chance yesterday to talk with Ivette about her chances of taking the big prize. "Do you think you can win standing next to Maggie or April? They will be your friends outside the house. You need to think about the money now." After the conversation, Ivette reported it to April and Maggie. "They say you two will take each other to the finals. They wanted to know who I will take, but I said I didn't know yet."

Today, the Nerd Herd Friendship spends a monotonous day doing the same old same old. At 11am, it's bash Janelle. At 2pm, it's "let's talk bad about Janelle." At 6pm, 8pm, and 10pm, it's more of the same. 

However, Ivette works in some quality moments of kindness with her nemesis, talking about Miami and parties and the beach. April and Maggie are suspicious of Ivette's behavior, thinking that she may be striking some sort of deal with Janelle. Maggie is trying not to worry, but April's chin goes into quiver overdrive. 

You know, she better be careful. The thing doesn't seem to be glued on all that well, and we all know what happens to Michael Jackson's nose every time he walks outside on a windy day.

Ivette later tells April and Maggie that she is going to hide under the bed in order to eavesdrop on conversation between Howie and Janelle. Her plan to get information fails, but the project is still a success when Ivette discovers many items the HGs appeared to have lost - like Howie's underwear, Janelle's willpower, and the dignity of every HG from BB2 through now. 

Hoppy trails,

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Bunny's Live Feed Summary for Thursday, September 8, 2005

Howie Gets Ka-pow-ied

No more fake pecs, no more farts
No more riding Janie's smarts
No more streaking through the yard
No more sharing that he's hard

No more calling hubbies fat
No more silly beret hats
No more "jack shack" in his room
No more flashing us his moon

No more "boobie," no more "breast"
No more saying he's the best
No more dishes drawing ants
No more crapping in his pants

No more ugly Abner checks
No more non-stop talk of sex
No more tweezing nasal hair
No more partner with the mare

No more bad moves in the game
No more calling Friendship names
No more daily weather facts
No more "Star Wars" re-enacts

No more throwing one-line zingers
No more hands without a finger
The Nerd Herd sent him out the door
No more Howie anymore

Hoppy trails, Howie,

BB Photo courtesy of Hamsterlady http://www.sillyhamsters.com/

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Bunny's Live Feed Summary for Saturday, September 10, 2005

It's All Over But the Pouting

After Howie was evicted on Thursday night, the four women remaining in the game (Janelle, April, Ivette, and Maggie) competed in the HOH challenge. It was another Q&A, and Janelle reigned victorious. Not only that, but another America's Choice was announced, and Janelle won that, too. To say the other three were deflated is an understatement if there ever was one.

Janelle's prize entailed being whisked off to the set of "Three and A Half Men," a sitcom starring Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryder - not to be confused with the "sitcomma" starring Cowboy, which to my knowledge is now airing on Animal Planet.

Before Janelle left on her adventure, however, it fell on her shoulders to nominate two people for eviction. She chose Maggie and Ivette, leaving April to cast the deciding vote as to which one will follow Howie into the sequester house. April told Janelle that she will point the Finger of Fate toward Ivette. 

I hope it's not the same finger that's been up her nose lately. Yes, it appears that April is this season's nose picker. Every BB needs one, and I'm truly grateful to April for stepping up to the plate. It was bound to happen now that she's quit "pretend" smoking. What else is she supposed to do with that hand?

While Janelle was being courted by Charlie Sheen (some things you can automatically assume), the three women left behind used the time to voice their hatred toward Janelle. "She is just a waitress," says April in front of Ivette, a waitress. "She has fake tits," says Ivette in front of April, who has fake tits. Maggie calls Janelle a bitch and a liar in front of - well, you know. 

Then Ivette went after the viewers. "You can all burn in Hell. You are marshmallows that will roast!"  Marshmallows? What's that about? If "marshmallow" is some sort of short code for the spongy bunny peeps sold around Easter time, then maybe I should take this insult personally. So should all of puffy white America.

Speaking of shout-outs, I would like to thank the hunky camera man who, in his own sweet way, expressed his affection for the Bunny last night by zooming his lens on Ivette's rabbit for what seemed like hours. 

It's all about the Bunny, and he knows it. It's time the rest of you caught on. I'm tired of waiting.

This morning the three ladies of the Friendship continue trashing Janelle unabated. That just kills me how they call themselves the Friendship, but they really aren't very friendly. They should call themselves the Select Friendship. Or the Friendship Who Has to Screen You First for Membership But Don't Bother Applying if You Have a Miss Superworld Title in Front of Your Name.

BB makes an early announcement that the POV challenge is forthcoming. Alone with Maggie, April tells Maggie that she doesn't need to fight for the Veto. "If I win it or Janelle wins it and things stay the same, I will take you to the Final Three with me. If Ivette wins it, she will take you, too." Maggie isn't sure she should sit back and let someone else win the competition. "If you won and took yourself off the block," April asks, "who would you send out of the game?" Maggie replies that it would be too stressful for her to answer.

Maggie, you don't know from stress. Try writing these summaries for three months while people are screaming in your ear, "Why don't you find a REAL job?" Or worse, try walking out of a public restroom with toilet paper trailing from your shoe. The more people point and you can't figure out why, the higher the stress mounts. And by the time you notice it and peel it off your heel in front of the crowd that followed you like the Pied Piper, you're reduced to a bundle of nerves. Yeah, don't talk to me about stress.

Alone with Ivette, Maggie fills her in on April's plan to take her to the Final Three. "She said SHE would take me, and that YOU would take me." "She said that?" asks Ivette. "When did she say that?" 

Maggie answers, "Just now." Ivette goes to her bed, curls her arms around her stuffed rabbit (which is kind of weird in a Wee Willie and His Blankie "Aren't you too old for that?" sort of way) and stretches out, deep in thought. April finds her and asks her what's wrong, but Ivette doesn't acknowledge her. 

BB instructs the players to go outside for the POV comp. Each is given a different colored shirt to wear. Ivette is in red, Janelle in orange, April in green, and Maggie in blue. No one's in purple, which I take as a sign that CBS still strives to be the tasteful network.

The game takes another turn when Ivette walks away as the winner of the POV. She dances around the yard in celebration, yelling, "I'm in the Final Three! I'm in the Final Three!" April runs to the HOH room to cry and probably pick her nose.  Or maybe not, since I hear depressed people don't have the energy to lift a finger.

Ivette wants to know if April would like to talk.
April: I don't want to talk to anyone right now.
Bunny: That's a first.

April: Well, okay, I'll talk to YOU.
Bunny: Spill it.                                                                         April: Well, for one thing, did you notice I'm wearing green? No hot pink on me anywhere. No spots, no ruffles, no sequins.
Bunny: Doesn't count.
April: Why not?
Bunny: BB forced you to wear that shirt. Had there been a pink one, you would have fought Ivette for it tooth and nail. Or is that FAKE tooth and nail? I have no idea what other secrets you're hiding.

April: You don't understand. I have to look good in my job as a pharmaceutical rep. I have to make clients want to buy drugs from me.
Bunny: Do you talk to them the same way you've talked in the game? You know, nonstop? Because when you get going, I can't imagine anyone not wanting to grab the nearest bottle of pills.

April does talk a lot, and that's a fact. I shouldn't knock it, because her gift of gab has gotten her very far in the game. She ran between both sides and used each to her advantage, and it was a strategy that worked for her. BB7 applicants, take notice.  I finally did, but it took me longer than usual since I fell victim to the Drastic Plastic distraction.  Just when I started to focus on April's game, she would reveal the fate of another body part.

Right now, April is upset with Ivette's joyful celebration. Ivette is upset that April's upset. She yells at her: "Your ass wasn't on the line! You don't know what that's like! You want to be angry with me because I'm excited? I'm sorry!" April runs to Janelle to sulk, and tells her that Ivette is rude. "She's not considering my feelings. If she takes you to the Finals, I will vote to give you the money." She also blames Ivette for the way she has behaved in the game, saying that Ivette brought out the worst in her. I hear ya on that, April. Sometimes Ivette brings out the worst in me, too.

April tells Maggie that she wants to be alone the next few days. "I can't look at Ivette in the same way anymore," she says. Of course you can't, April. Now you have to look at her in a much different way - a sore loser kind of way. 

Later, Maggie finds Ivette crying. A given - because it's Saturday and Ivette always cries on Saturdays. She also cries on Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. She usually skips Thursdays because there's no time before the Live Show, although she sometimes manages to tear up a bit during commercials. 

Maggie, April, and Janelle are in the kitchen.
April: America loves you, Janelle.
Janelle: I know. 
April: They hate the rest of us.
Maggie: Yeah, thanks.
Janelle: I don't think they hate you, April. You're not much of a trash talker.
Bunny: Run that by me again?
Janelle: I said April's not much of a trash talker.
Bunny: You mean REAL trash talker or "pretend" trash talker?
Janelle: Either one.
Bunny: Boy, do you need to get up earlier.
April: Well, we've all done our fair share. We can't love everyone, right?
Janelle: I've always loved everyone.
Bunny: Even Ivette?
Janelle: Well, maybe not Ivette.
Bunny: Even Eric?
Janelle: Okay, maybe not him either.
Bunny: But you love ME, right?
Janelle: Oh, no question. We're solid.
Bunny: Doesn't hurt to double check.

April tells Janelle that evicting Kaysar was a mean thing to do. "We made a deal, and we went back on it," she says. She also feels bad about making fun of Howie's missing finger, which I'm glad to hear - because her right index is likely to disappear into the recesses of a sinus cavity before long and I sure don't want people making fun of her when it happens. Nope, you leave that to me.

Hoppy trails,