Bunny's Live Feed Summary for Sunday, August 21, 2005
Ivette Red Over Stale Bread
Rachel is again the first one out of bed. She cooks an omelet for herself
and enjoys it in peace before BB blasts a song over the speakers to wake
up the others. The song is "I'm Too Sexy," and all of the HGs wonder which
of them BB is playing the song for. Someone needs to break it to them that
it's not for any of them. It's merely a recycled wake-up call from last
year when Drew was in the house. BB, known to run a tight ship in Accounting,
likes to get a lot of use out of each song in their stash - although they've
had to purchase more than one copy of Eminem's "Big Weenie" due to wear
and tear.
As soon as Howie wakes up, he and Rachel go over the mistakes they made
in the game.
Rachel: We were too trusting. You believed that Maggie would
keep her deal. Kaysar gave Jennifer the HOH. He believed what April told
him about James.
Howie: America gave us a player back and we blew it. A lot of
people probably think we're stupid.
Bunny: I'm beginning to think you're one dime short of a dollar
myself.
BB calls the HGs together for the POV competition. Howie picks Janelle
to play for him, Rachel chooses April, and Beau wants James. He doesn't
want him in a "let's get our freak on" sort of way but more like "You're
stronger than me so win the Veto and gimme it."
The game is some sort of timed competition involving a big vat of water,
and, not surprisingly, James takes the medal. Is this guy super human or
what? How many Vetos has he won? Fifty? Someone get me the name of his
vitamins.
Janelle came in second, barely behind James. Then in order were Howie,
Beau, Rachel, then April last. April says she didn't compete well because
the grass was wet and she slipped on it and her eyes were burning and her
ears were hurting and it was too hot outside and the competition wasn't
made for short people like her because she had to stand on her tippy toes
in the water tank and also she was "so freaked out, y'all!" because she's
claustrophobic and what do you wanna bet no one chooses HER to compete
again. (That was me saying that last part.) I'm just glad she didn't topple
over and drown. Not that she could, and I know you know what I'm talking
about.
Rachel says that she wants James to use his Veto power to take Howie
off the block. "Get me out of here!," she says. Bunny is surprised that
Rachel's just now figuring out that the BB house isn't the place to be.
She should have asked to be voted out long ago. That way she could have
gone with me yesterday to Hunter Thompson's memorial service where Johnny
Depp shot the author's ashes out of a cannon. It was a blast, and I'm not
just talking about the cannon. We had fireworks, hot dogs, everything.
As funerals go, it was the best party ever.
Speaking of hot dogs, Ivette is complaining to James and Beau that Rachel
keeps opening up all the packages of buns. "She says she wants a fresh
one. She is leaving all the others to turn stale. That makes me furious!"
James tells her that she doesn't need to get worked up about something
so trivial - "Stay focused on the game," he says. "But you don't understand,
James. She is messing with our food supply. She is selfish, and she is
ruining all the buns, and BB will not give us more, you know what I'm saying?"
By the way, Ivette has a tendency to end most of her sentences with
"You know what I'm saying?" or "You know what I mean?" and it's about to
drive me nuts. If I weren't so worried about the hot dog buns right now,
I'd go more into depth about this because the overuse of English phrases
(and the reasons behind it) fascinates me. However, let's get back to the
more pressing issue.
First of all, are the hot dog buns Bunny brand buns? Because if they
are, I don't want them to get stale either. Heck, even if they're just
Arnold or Wonder or some lame store brand, we still don't need to discuss
it. Fresh is fresh, and everyone's entitled.
Thank about your last visit to Burger King. Did you inquire about the
length of time your Whopper Jr. sesame seed roll had been left in the package?
Of course you did. And when you last got hunger pangs while shopping in
the grocery store, did you grab a quick Kaiser snack from an unopened package
or from one that the last hungry guy or grimy-fingered kid stole from?
I think I've made my point.
The HGs are put on lockdown outside, and when they are allowed back
in, they find that the table has been reduced in size. Janelle screams
with delight: "I never thought I would be here long enough to see this!"
They all gather at the table and have a seat - The Friendship and The Sovereign
Whatever, bonded together in a special moment.
At the table, the HGs discuss where each is from. Janelle talks about
her home in Minnesota. "Is Minnesota a state?," asks Ivette. Just a reminder
here: Ivette was the Susan B. Sachs 2000 scholarship winner.
The camaraderie around the table is short-lived. Ivette and April begin
cooking dinner when Rachel comments on how good it smells. "Is there enough
for everyone?" she asks. "No, I don't think so," says Ivette. The Friendship
sits down to eat, and Ivette says the others will just have to fend for
themselves. Of course, they say grace first. I think it's something like,
"Please, God, don't make us share this food with Rachel. She already had
a fresh hot dog bun."
Later, James and Janelle meet in secret and discuss forming a team.
"We will only meet at night in the Gold Room," he tells her. "We can't
let anyone ever see us talking." Janie, after leaving James, has a strategy
meeting with Howie. "Don't tell James we are going after Beau and Ivette
if one of us gets the next HOH. Tell him we want Maggie out."
Maggie, sitting on the bed in the HOH room with April and Beau, warns
them that James needs to go next. "If we don't get rid of him in the next
two weeks, he will win the game." She is also suspicious that James and
Janelle might be forming an alliance.
There is talk that James may have broken the rules during the POV competition.
BB says they will review the tapes since Janelle's score was only a few
seconds behind James'. I think while they're at it, they should also review
any tapes that show Rachel in the kitchen, making sure they zoom in on
her hands every time they get near a cellophane wrapper. Ivette can't be
around 24 hours a day, so I'm sure there are missing buns she doesn't know
about. Not just hot dog, but hamburger, too. Maybe even biscuits and a
few bagels.
And don't get me started on the hot dogs themselves. Anyone who is determined
to have the first bun out of the package is certain to corner the first
wiener as well. You can frank...er, bank on it.
Hoppy trails,
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Bunny's Live Feed Summary for Monday, August 22, 2005
Nerd Herd Feels Spurred; Howie Gives Good Curd
You know, it's going to be sad if Rachel is evicted this week - who
will the East Coasters watch in the mornings? She's up long before anyone
else, and even though it would be better if she talked to herself or something,
at least we have action rather than a few more hours of snoring. Of course,
her departure will signal the ants that the coast is clear - they'll come
back into the house much like Kaysar did, but I doubt they'll be evicted
as quickly.
Ants would never fold in an endurance competition. Those little guys
are friggin' tough. Even a baby ant could keep one antenna on a button
for days, all the while holding a piece of bread twice its size on its
back. Nope, you don't ever want to go head-to-head in a BB comp with those
guys. They're merciless - plus, some of them can even fly.
The HGs wake up slowly today, especially Janelle. BB tells her repeatedly
to get out of bed. "Leave her alone BB!," yells Howie. "You screwed her
out of her Veto!" BB has ruled that James stands as the winner of the POV.
Howie thinks their decision is unfair and that the medal should have been
awarded to Janelle. Apparently, BB didn't give James the same instructions
that they gave the other players, and therefore, didn't feel he should
be penalized for their mistake.
April tells Beau that James wants to go as far as he can in the game
with Ivette. "But he doesn't want to be standing next to her in the end
because he knows he won't win against her. The Friendship will control
the vote." She goes on to say that James will also try to keep Beau around
- "he knows your vote is the same as Ivette's vote" - and that he is working
with "the other side to gang up on Maggie and me."
Beau: James told me last night that YOU were playing both sides.
April: He's the one playing both sides; that's why he's getting
so nervous.
Bunny: That's nothing new. He's been nervous since the day he
got here. Have you seen what's left of his nails?
It's true, you know. James bites his fingernails nonstop. He says he's
been doing it as long as he can remember. I wish he wouldn't. It's so -
I don't know- girly or something. I say that if you're a guy who insists
on putting your fingers in your mouth, at least put a chicken leg between
them.
Howie's term of endearment for The Friendship is "Nerd Herd." He's been
calling them that behind their backs for a week or two and today Ivette
overhears him. She is furious, even more so than she was about the hog
dog buns. Even though it WAS kind of nerdy to get upset about a few wheat
rolls, she still finds the moniker offensive.
Rachel had her feelings hurt when The Friendship didn't allow her to
have dinner with them. Ivette explains to Howie that they didn't give her
any of the food they cooked because she never cooked for THEM. "She makes
one pork chop for herself and not anybody else, so I'm not going to cook
for her." Now, Ivette, you can't have it both ways. One minute you're angry
at the girl for wasting weenie bread, and the next you're admonishing her
for being thrifty with the house's pig meat. Get it together.
The Veto ceremony is held in the living room, and Howie and Rachel sit
in the nomination chairs, awaiting James' decision. He decides to forego
using the POV, leaving the pair on the block. That means either Rachel
will trot out of the house on Thursday, or Howie will blow through the
door.
Janelle meets with Howie in the Gold Room after the ceremony. "James
wants April in the Final Three with him, but not the Final Two. And he
doesn't want both you and me in the Final Three with him either. That would
be too dangerous."
Howie: He has to get Beau or Ivette out of here if he wants to
win the money.
Janelle: If he sticks by Ivette, we won't have the votes to
get rid of her.
Howie: I think April would vote against Ivette.
Janelle: I think it's very possible that James, Ivette, and
Beau are working together as a team.
Bunny: Where have YOU been?
Rachel asks April if she is the one they are sending home. April tells
her she doesn't know. "If it's me," says Rachel, "I will tell Jennifer
in Sequester that she made a really bad mistake getting rid of Kaysar.
She blew it for both of you with that strategy." Also, Rachel, while you're
there, could you run through a few isometric exercises with Jen to help
relieve whatever tension she has that makes her walk like she's got, as
they say, "a corn cob up her butt?" Maybe her gait is a result from having
to stand stick-straight for years while she balanced other squad members
on her shoulders, I don't know. I'm just trying to help.
Janelle doesn't get out of bed until 4:00pm. She is depressed about
gaining so much weight. "It would be nice if I could fit in anything else
other than my stretch pants." While she's mourning the loss of her Miss
Superbike Supersvelte body, Ivette and Beau are in the backyard begging
Howie to strip naked and run around in circles. Howie tells them that if
they will vote to keep him in the house, he will streak through the yard
on Friday. That gives me plenty of time to purchase a blindfold.
Janelle confronts James about his relationship with Ivette. "Do you
two have a deal?" she asks. "Why do you want Maggie out of the game before
Ivette?" James says the two aren't in an alliance. "We need to get Ivette
out next week; otherwise, we will never have the votes to do it. She is
more powerful than Maggie in this game, and I want her out now," says Janelle.
James dodges the issue by saying, "Let's see who wins HOH."
As evening approaches, Ivette lets Janelle and Rachel know that she
doesn't appreciate that her group is called "the Nerd Herd." Rachel chuckles,
which angers Ivette even more. She runs to Beau and lets off steam. "Janelle
is a dumb blonde! Rachel is an aging hag who cleans up horse s---!" Rachel
and Janelle hear her yelling, but decide to let it go. They know that nerds
need to vent just like everybody else.
Apparently, Howie's promise to run around naked isn't enough. Beau tells
him that if he truly wants to stay in the house, he needs to do one more
thing. "Put some ice cream in your mouth and feed it to me," says Beau.
"If our lips touch, I won't vote you out." Howie takes the bait and plants
a little mocha chocolate chip smooch on Beau, who then says, "I'll tell
Rachel to pack her bags."
Beau, realizing that no one saw the kiss, tells Howie he wants another
one while the other HGs are watching the spy cam in the HOH room. Howie
does it, and the girls begin to scream. I don't know what they're so up
in arms about. A little vanilla swirl between friends is not much different
than swapping spit - sure it's higher in calories, but it certainly tastes
better and is relatively germ-free.
James says, "I won't do THAT to stay in this game." Again, what's the
big deal? My parents bribed me with ice cream for years.
Ivette, still mad about being called a nerd, raves at Howie about the
insult. In the midst of her attack, she asks him in front of April who
it was that came up with the idea of kicking her out of the house instead
of Sarah. April says, "You just need to let that go, Ivette. You're taking
things too personally in this game." In other words: April.
Janelle goes to the kitchen to make an apple crisp. Maggie says, "She's
eating again??" Ivette comments that the girl never cooks, and when she
does it's something that will add another 50 pounds. Of course, they're
just jealous of the fact that Janelle is Miss Superworld Super-everything,
and all the guys in the game fall all over themselves to get to her. They
are also still reeling about getting left out of the menage-a-trois the
other day, which is really stupid because there's no such thing as a menage-a-cinq.
It's gotten to the point where you can't even mention the name Johnny Depp
in their presence, or they go ape.
Just remember that if things get too quiet around the house - like now.
Johnny Depp.
Hoppy trails,
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Bunny's Live Feed Summary for Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Ivette Frets as Maggie Names James
The expression "got up on the wrong side of the bed" applies to Ivette
today. As soon as her feet hit the floor, she begins to rag on Janelle,
Rachel, and Howie. "Rachel is an old lady who tries to act young. Janelle
has no friends. Howie was kissing Beau just to stay in the game." Well,
he didn't exactly kiss him, Ivette. They just touched lips to share a spoonful
or two of ice cream. Tutti Frutti flavor, I think it was.
Ivette continues to rant: "I'm tired of being called a nerd! You know
what I mean? Where did that come from? You know what I'm saying? Who does
Howie think he is, calling us Nerd Herd? You know what I mean? You know
what I'm saying?"
BB puts the HGs on an early lockdown outside. Rachel uses the time to
talk to Janelle about the impending eviction. "I'm concerned that they
will vote Howie out," she says. "They probably know he is popular, and
they may be jealous. Besides, he calls them Nerd Herd."
She goes on to say that it would be the best strategy to vote her out,
"but if I stay and win HOH, I will put up Maggie and Ivette. They make
all the decisions on that side." The lockdown is short, and the HGs go
back in the house to find a new fish. It's the cutest fish in the tank
- in all the aquatic world, actually - and its name is Bunny. Not really,
but it should be.
It's lunch time, so Beau's Hos (sorry, it was just there) decide to
make a stew. The group has turned a new leaf and decide to fix a pot of
stew big enough for everyone. Of course, I have to turn away from the live
feeds for a minute until it's done, because I fear a stew pot the way others
fear heights or spiders. Thanks to one Miss Horrifying Glenn Close, who
not only scares the bejesus out of rabbits, but is also known to do a number
on dalmatians as well.
Janelle is getting sun in the backyard, and April joins her to talk
about this and that, none of it game-related. Ivette tells Maggie that
she disapproves of the two spending time together. "Why is April talking
to her?" Later, the same subject comes up again between Maggie and April
when they observe Ivette having a conversation with Rachel. "Ivette gets
mad if we talk to one of them, but she does it and it's okay?," they say.
Neither can understand why Ivette despises Rachel so much anyway. Could
be she was thrown by a horse as a child.
During the evening, James talks to Janelle about going to the end of
the game with her. "We can make it to the Final Two, but you'll have to
give up Howie," he says. "If you get HOH next week, nominate April and
Maggie and send April home. Tell Ivette and Beau that if they use the Veto,
their partner will go on the block." Janelle listens, knowing that James
feels safe with Ivette and Beau, and that he's aware that Maggie and April
want to see him on the block.
In the HOH room, Maggie discusses with April and Ivette the possibility
of getting James out of the game through the Back Door method. "The other
side wants to take James to the end because they have a chance of winning
next to him," she says. "And James wants to go to the end with THEM for
the same reason. Our goal is to make sure none of them is sitting at the
end to win money. They don't have a friendship - they really don't care
about each other."
That is so weird that you said that, Maggie, because I was just thinking
myself how I didn't care about any of them either. Or any of you, for that
matter. I don't know why. You're probably all really nice people outside
the house. But in the house, you're kinda spooky. I mean it - sometimes
you really scare me. I have nightmares like you wouldn't believe.
One night all of you were trying to force me to wear Beau's pink pants,
Janelle's Uggs, and April's cha cha cheetah number ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
I almost succumbed when someone waved Howie's Abner shirt and the sad fairy
beret in front of my face, screaming, "NOW THESE, RABBIT! NOW THESE!" But
because it was a military torture tactic I became aware of last year when
fashion designers were trying to force me to mix paisleys with plaids,
I was able to fight you off and survive.
At the end of the dream, I ran in disgust to the HOH room and tried
to throw up all over the HOH bed - but, just like in the story "The Three
Bears," somebody else's vomit was already there. I finally just let it
all out on the carpet, and the craziest thing was that I was wearing a
clown wig when I did it. That's when I woke up in a cold sweat - I really,
really hate it when I mix up BB seasons in my nightmares.
Ivette assures Maggie that if Rachel goes this week, James will target
Janelle and Howie if he gets HOH on Thursday. "Do you really think he would
tell you if he was going after one of us?" Maggie asks. When Ivette is
called to the Diary Room, Beau agrees with Maggie that James needs to go.
Beau says he doesn't trust him. Something about James claiming to be lactose
intolerant.
When Ivette joins them again, the two of them confront her about her
refusal to push James out of the game. "He's going to win if we don't get
him out next week," Maggie tells her. Ivette continues to support James,
and instead tries to get them to focus on evicting April. "She is the real
problem. She can't be trusted. She runs to the other group and tells them
everything. James is on our side."
After midnight, Howie and Janelle go over items in the house in case
they are asked about them in Thursday's HOH competition. They also review
earlier challenges - what was played, who won, etc. - and continue with
talk about the nominations - who went up, the order they went out, and
all that. I hope there's a question about Beau's nomination speech this
week. It will be interesting to see if anyone understood a word he said,
because I know I sure didn't.
Beau: Itsmydutytonominatetwopeopleforeviction. InominateyouHowie,
butdon'tworrybout itcuz youcanslurpicecreamoffmyfacelaterandthatwilltakecareof
it. AndInominateyou,Rachel, becauseyouwereashadeofgrayandnowyou'repitchblackstarkwhite.
Rachel: Huh?
Howie: Huh?
Bunny: Double huh?
Beau: You were a shade of gray and now you're pitch black and
stark white.
Ivette: I don't know what you mean, know what I mean?
April: She doesn't know what you're saying, know what she's
saying?
Maggie: Yeah, we don't follow. Shade of gray? Stark white? Pitch
black?
Beau: I think I've made myself crystal clear.
Bunny: Not in this lifetime. But anyway, the best I can gather
is that you want Rachel out because the old gray mare, she ain't what she
used to be - and that if Howie doesn't streak through the backyard flashing
his stark white naked butt for the house's black bitch, he's right behind
her. Am I close?
Beau: On the nose.
Hoppy trails,
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Bunny's Live Feed Summary for Friday, August 26, 2005
BB Apparel Puts Bunny in Peril
Could someone please get me a wet rag? I'm feeling a bit faint. This
wave of vertigo has been coming over me off and on since last night's Live
Show when I first got a glimpse of Janelle in her little green dress. And
when I say "little" - well, I'm talking "diaper." And by "green" - well,
I'm talking the color of what one usually finds INSIDE a diaper. The dress
was so revealing that I could imagine the conversation in living rooms
all across America when Janelle sat down on the couch. "Mommy, what's a
beaver shot?"
And as if that dress wasn't bad enough, I was also faced with April
in a ruffled fuschia bikini. Did you hear me say "ruffled?" Unless you're
a tiny tot splashing around in the baby pool, ruffles don't belong on your
bathing suit. I know it's not unusual for BB HGs to regress into childlike
behavior, but diapers and the latest in toddler beach fashion are a true
cry for help.
Rachel was evicted from the house, and everyone but Ivette seemed truly
sorry to see her go. So was I. She was just getting wound up. Give her
a few more weeks and she may have given me my best material yet. It's usually
the late bloomers that act up the most. Think of the kid you knew in school
who stayed home with his parents every Saturday night but is now serving
time in prison for running a prostitution ring. Every high school has one
of those guys.
After Rachel's eviction, the HGs were led into the backyard for the
next HOH competition. Again, it was Q&A, and the first question was
easy: "Got beaver?" Everyone answered "Janelle" except Beau, who answered
"Discovery Channel" - which is kind of the same thing, really.
Next question: When will April stop wearing things she picked up at
Cheap Hoes R Us? The answer was, "Not in this lifetime," and all players
were correct.
I don't really want to be too hard on April here. I heard that she didn't
bring the pink camisole or the ruffled bathing suit into the house. That
means she didn't actually spend money on them, which is a good thing. Of
course, they didn't just magically appear on her body either - she chose
to wear them for all the world to see. Turns out both incidents were a
boon to Tylenol, Valium, and other pharmaceutical inventory, so I'm convinced
she did it on purpose in order to increase sales volume for her co-workers.
I've been popping Excedrin Extra Strength ever since the dalmatian spots
appeared on the scene, so I can attest that her plan is working.
This seems like as good a time as any to mention that Ivette also assaulted
my senses last night. Apparently she raided Dr. Spock's Disco Vulcan closet
once again. I guess if you're intent on dressing the part of a Trekkie,
adding the sequins is a nice touch. But only if it's Christmas, which it
wasn't. And only if you're going to a Christmas party, which she wasn't.
Or more importantly, only if you're going to a gay Christmas party, which
maybe she was, because gay people like to whip up a holiday soiree for
any old reason.
As the HOH comp continues, the HGs fall out one by one - but none of
us notice because we're all staring at Janelle in her little green dress.
Especially when she's left standing at the end with April and has to bend
over to grab a pen and paper for the tie-breaker. "Mommy, what does Daddy
mean when he says, 'I'd eat a pile of poop to get to that?'"
Unfortunately, Janelle's realization that she just took BB fans everywhere
on a free trip to the Netherlands got her off her game and she lost the
HOH challenge to April. I'm happy for April since most of the time girls
who dress like she does end up on the bottom.
Beau passed the HOH key on to April as everyone headed back inside the
house. April thanked everyone who made it possible for her to win HOH,
mistakingly believing that she had won the Oscar. I hope someday that she
actually does win it, because I can't wait to see what she wears. I bet
it will be hot pink, have both spots AND ruffles, and will only be surpassed
in the Worst Dressed category if Bjork pulls out another bird suit.
Hoppy trails,
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Bunny's Live Feed Summary for Saturday, August 27, 2005
April Won't Settle for One Medal
For those of you wondering whether or not Howie kept his promise to
Beau to run naked through the backyard, I'm happy to report that he did.
Yesterday, he grabbed one of the bandanas he often wears on his head and
used it to cover his penis while he bolted through the yard and into the
pool where Janelle and Beau were waiting. I don't know about you, but I
would prefer not to be soaking in any vat of water inhabited by Howie's
naked haunches. Something tells me that any Baby Ruths floating by wouldn't
be candy.
Yesterday April made her nominations, putting the two remaining Sovereigns
on the block. She explained to Janelle and Howie that they were going up,
but her plan is to take one of them off with the Veto and backdoor James.
"Don't let him play for the Veto with you," she tells both of them, "or
one of you is going home."
Both agreed and when the POV competition is held today, neither of them
chooses James to compete. April picks Maggie, Janelle chooses Ivette, and
Howie goes with Beau. The challenge is combined with a luxury competition,
and even though April walks away with the POV, Janelle wins a trip to the
Bahamas. Ivette is furious that Janelle has won yet another prize. And
not just any prize, but an all-expenses paid trip to Nassau.
Janelle says she's taking her mother to the Bahamas and not Michael.
Bunny: Ahem.
Janelle: What is it, Bunny?
Bunny: I love Nassau. There's mini-skirts, maxi skirts, and
Afro-haired dudes. People doin' their own thing don't care 'bout me and
you.
Janelle: I know all that.
Bunny: Nassau's gone funky.
Janelle: Hm-mm.
Bunny: Nassau's gone soul.
Janelle: Yeah.
Bunny: We've got a doggone beat now....
Janelle: Shut up, you can go.
BB has announced a new America's Choice - a chance for a HG to win a
phone call from home. April begs America to vote for her so that she can
talk to her fat husband and her ugly dog. She didn't say that, but Howie
did sometime or another when he was on his "April never wins anything"
rant and it seems to have stuck with me. I imagine that the husband and
dog are both fine-looking specimens and I wish them no ill will myself.
Even if it's true, I happen to love fat people. Ugly dogs not so much.
April is thrilled that she not only won HOH, but the POV as well. "This
proves something to the people who said I was weak (see above), and I'm
just so happy!" She thanks Janelle for not choosing James to play for her,
and assures her that she is going to pull Janelle off the block and put
James in her place. "Taking him out will feel so good," she says.
Ivette doesn't want James to go home and begins a campaign to get Janelle
evicted. She focuses on the fact that no one will ever win a prize with
Janelle in the house. Actually, I think Janelle's just BEING in the house
is a prize in itself. So do all the Boy Scouts who got their first peek
at poontang while flipping the channels last Thursday night.
You know, in all fairness to the green dress, it probably fit Janelle
better at one time. Pre-BB, that is. Pre-apple crisp and ice cream. Pre-sleeping
like a slug all day, and pre-just waving at people in the gym as she passes
by rather than going in. Janelle has gained weight in the house, and the
poor dress had to suffer for it - stretched to its maximum capabilities
and still unable to do its job. And now it hangs its hem in shame, having
turned its own Miss Superworld Superbike into Miss Superbasic Instinct.
Janelle is known for her apple crisp. And she loves ice cream. It doesn't
seem to matter that she's growing larger every day. It doesn't matter to
Bunny either. Remember, she loves fat people. Not all fat people, but certainly
fat people who win prizes and titles and men who can talk in a variety
of accents.
I wonder if Janelle will call Michael if she wins America's Choice,
and if she does, I wonder what accent he'll use to speak to her. I hope
he chooses French. I love how zay talk. I'm sure if Maggie wins, she'll
call Eric - and I imagine he'll keep it short. Ivette will make a call
to the Lesbian Association of America to apologize for casting a dark shadow
on all lesbians and lesbianism in general.
Right before bed, Beau flashes his penis to Maggie, who is not moved
in the least. "I work in the ER," she says. "I've seen plenty of those."
Bunny hasn't, however, and quickly tries to find the Zoom button on her
computer. Then she realizes it's not necessary.
Beau, if you win America's Choice, you might want to call and comfort
every single white man in the country who saw what I just saw.
Hoppy trails,
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