Live Feed Summary for Sunday, July 27, 2008

Impressions A-Plenty for Renny

This morning Michelle is still reeling from yesterday's confrontation with Jerry.  She says, "You should have seen him!  He went ballistics!  Totally ballistics!"

Bunny:  Uh...Michelle?

Michelle:  What, Rabbit?

Bunny:  People don't go "ballistics."  They just go "balistic."  You know - it's singular. 

Michelle:  Really?

Bunny:  Yeah.  You can say "Jerry went bananas!" if you want to go the plural route.  Or you can say, "Jerry went bonkers!" - that'll work, too.

Michelle:  I think I'll go with "crazies," then.  Jerry went crazies!

Bunny:  Nope.  Won't do.

Michelle:  Then I'm stuck. 

Bunny:  Easy to fix.  Just say:  "Jerry lost it!"

Michelle:  Perfect.  Jerry lost them!

Bunny:   Jerry lost IT.  Singular.

Michelle:  Okay, I think I got it.  Thanks, Bunnies.

I ran across some evidence today that disputes Keesha's theory about Angie.  Turns out Angie may not be a "guys' girl" after all, but more of a "girls' guy." 

Mustache Sally, you better slow that mustache down.

Angie has been going from person-to-person today to say "No hard feelings!" for voting to evict her.  "I just don't want there to be any weirdness around here during my final days in the house," she says.

Right now the only weird thing I can see is that a certain someone's mustache is only slightly less thick than Yosemite Sam's.

Jessie tells Keesha that he will not nominate her if he wins the next HOH.  "I appreciate that you're saving me this week, and I won't forget it.  Neither will Michelle."

Everyone knows that Jessie and Michelle are working as a team.  Michelle never leaves Jessie's side and flirts with him incessantly.  Sadly, her attempts to get Jessie to notice her in a romantic way are ignored.

Anyone could tell her that this pose is no turn-on for Jessie unless it's while doing push-ups. 

The POV Ceremony is held later today. As predicted, Keesha leaves the nominations the same.  After the event, the HGs gather at the kitchen table to watch Renny do impressions of the rest of the HGs.

She does Jessie posing, which agitates him because he has to turn away from the mirror long enough to watch.

She does an impression of April cleaning, which OCD April isn't there to see because she's three feet down in the toilet with a scrub brush.

She mimics Keesha playing with her hair.  Keesha pronounces it "too much dames' dame and not enough girls' girl."

She parrots Memphis when he's enraged, which he promptly attacks her for.

One by one, she gets around to mocking them all.  After her repertoire is exhausted, Dan turns the tables on her and does an impression of his own.

Who knew Dan had a personality?

Hoppy trails,

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Live Feed Summary for Monday, July 28, 2008

Stirrings of Love Rumble When Bumble Takes Tumble

A bee is alive today thanks to the resuscitation skills of Rescue Dan.

He found it drowning in the backyard pool, a victim of swimming while buzzed.

Getting the bee to safety, he quickly went to work applying mouth-to-mouth - and was momentarily taken aback by the sweet luscious taste of dried honeysuckle.  After licking the succulence off his lips - and with the words of an old song running through his head ("A taste of honey.... kisses.... sweeter.... than wine"), he offered the bee his card, on which he'd written "Call me!"

Proud of his accomplishment in saving the bee's life, Dan later stands by at the ready when non-swimmers Renny and Ollie take a dip in the pool, hoping to be of service should either get swept undercurrent in the same spot where the bee tried to high dive from its hive.

He waits....and waits...and waits, wanting so much to be a hero to the people - not just to members of insect social colonies.

And then, much in the same way that an arsonist firefighter sets a building ablaze in order to become a hero by extinguishing it, Dan pulls Ollie into the deep end of the pool when no one is looking.

Hearing Ollie's cries for help, April comes running from the house.  She frantically jumps in to assist Dan in bringing her man back to life. 

Dan quickly calms her, letting her know that they will use every technique at their disposal to revive Ollie:  he from the chest up, she from the waist down.

Later in the day, Ollie relishes the idea of trying to drown again.

Dan knows that resuscitation can become habit-forming, so he offers to give swimming lessons to Ollie and Renny. And the bee, too.  Dan begins by teaching them the dog paddle, which the bee particularly loves since with the help of six legs, it's able to out-paddle its classmates and make a beeline to the top of the class. 

Renny, being a hair dresser, aces the scissor kick on the first try - while Ollie focuses on the breast stroke, hoping to adapt it to a land version the next time he and April are alone.

Which is sooner rather than later, as they cuddle at night's end.  April discusses their future together ("I can't wait to sit on the couch, watch dvds, and order Applebees.  They have curb service now!") and Ollie tells her he knows they will have to go through some tough times (like when Applebee's is out of riblets).

They snuggle under the covers and begin to kiss.  Ollie wastes no time in bringing his arms to the breaststroke outsweep position, slowly moving them in for the front crawl, followed by the fingertip drag.  Finally, with the full cup dip and rest, he soothes April off to Dreamland.

Hoppy trails,

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Live Feed Summary for Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Shake 'n' Stake

Jerry is the first one up this morning.  He uses the bathroom and then bypasses the sink.  I think this is something they teach you in the military.  It's a form of germ warfare. Jerry plans on eliminating his opponents with bacteria.

The other HGs are slow to get out of bed, so BB blasts a heavy metal Marilyn Manson tune to move them along.  "Why this music?" Memphis wonders aloud.

I'll tell you why, Memphis.  Because Marilyn Manson himself is a huuuuuge BB fan.  Seriously.  He even managed to sneak into the house once and hide, hoping to find a way to be a part of the game.

And remember BB8 Dustin's "King of the HOH" crown?

When he put it for sale on eBay, who do you think bought it?

In fact, a lot of the songs he's written are about the show, like  "Sympathy for the Parents," "The Nobodies," and "Fundamentally Loathsome," for example.

He even wrote a few songs about some of his favorite players, including "Antichrist Superstar" about BB2's Dr. Will and "Wormboy," which is rumored to be about Boogie but I can't confirm. 

One of Manson's biggest hits is the song "The Dope Show," which most people think he wrote after the airing of the BB6 episode during which Kaysar took his finger off the button.  But actually, it's a ditty about all the dopey players in general.  So is "Dried Up, Tied, and Dead to the World" (originally titled "Now Lapsed: Your 15 Minutes") which he dedicated to all former players of BB.

He's already penned a few about this year's cast, including "Wrapped in Plastic"

"I'm Reflecting God"

and "The Real Man You Should Fear"

which makes reference to Jerry's use of unsanitary tactics to bring the enemy down.

As it turns out, BB could have saved MM for another day to rouse the HGs.  A few minutes after getting out of bed, they are shaken and stirred by a genuine California earthquake.  The earth moves, not unlike it happens for Ollie and April on a regular basis,

the fence starts to break apart between the slats, the cameras quiver on their mounts, and the porch furniture slides away from the wall.....

leading the HGs to discover someone hiding behind the couch. 

Not Marilyn Manson, as would be expected, but.....

....our old friend Danielle from BB3 and All-Stars, who's just having a smoke behind the sofa for old times' sake.  You go, girl.

As soon as Jessie feels the first tremor, he wastes no time in ripping off his shirt to battle the earthquake singlehandedly.

He succeeds in his endeavor, and the BB grass is soon still.  After the HGs calm down from the quake, they realize that one person is missing:  Jerry. Sadly, when they go inside to look for him, they find him frozen in fright.

Using his bee and Ollie-saving skills from yesterday, Dan acts fast to determine whether or not Jerry still has a heartbeat. 

Fearing that Dan may try to use mouth-to-mouth resuscitation as a means of parasitic transmission to weaken him in the game, Jerry's body goes into defense mode, removing him from his trance-like state. 

No longer needed at the scene, Dan leads Renny and Ollie to the pool for another swimming lesson.  This time he asks Jessie to assist him, but after being in the pool for only a minute, Jessie suffers a reaction to the chlorine and has to leave the water.

Today is Renny's birthday, so Keesha makes her a giant cookie in lieu of a cake. 

Jerry smears the second "N" in Renny, hoping that the icing will now contain enough micro-organisms to bring one player to his or her knees.

The HGs gather at the table for a celebration dinner, then they all don costumes to entertain the Birthday Girl.

Dan uses it as an excuse to pull out his Malibu Barbie outfit, which he's saved for just such an occasion.

Just kidding.  That's April, who cheers Keesha on while she proves to the others that she is, without a shadow of a doubt, a "girls' girl" -

making a true believer out of Renny, who is tempted to become one, too.

Ollie, on the other hand, makes it clear he's unabashedly an "elves' elf."

An "elves' elf" that can't keep his legs together, but that's another story.

Later, when all the other HGs are asleep, Angie spends some time contemplating the upcoming eviction.  She knows there is no way to save herself from going home, so she ponders the pool cue as a weapon against the others, wondering if the pygmy who assisted April is still available.  Angie wants him to give her some spear-chucking tips to use during the Live Show.

She looks around, calling "Here, Pygmy, Pygmy!" - but he's nowhere to be found. 

Hiding again in the fridge and sensing his opportunity to play a role in the game - finally! - the world's best-known heavy metal BB fan, shrunken substantially from the cold, appears in the pygmy's place on cue.

He delights in showing Angie how to hold a stake just so, with a grip that the original pygmy could never match.

Basking in the glow from his time in the BB spotlight, MM returns home to pen the title song for his next album. Soon to be released: "The Mike Supplanted by the Spike: Best Day Ever!"

Hoppy trails,

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Live Feed Summary for Thursday, July 31, 2008

Beer Slammer Given the Hammer

(Kudos to MyTwoCents for the first - and so far, only - "bunny" catch of the season.) 

Dear Angie,

I feel like you would still be here                                                        If only you had played like you chug a beer

A champion of suds should have what it takes                                       To leave other houseguests left out in her wake

Why didn't you call on your prize-winning skills?                                      The ones that you used to down all that swill?

Why would you not attack your contenders                                           The same way you charge through your ale on a bender?

We all can see why the group pulled the plug:                                     You gave less to the game than you did to the mug   

Hoppy ales,

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Live Feed Summary for Friday, August 1, 2008

Wall-to-Wall Comp-a-ting

After Angie's eviction last night, the HGs were sent to the backyard for the HOH endurance competition that involved hanging on to a leaning wall.

Jerry was the first to fall, and rumor has it that he was allowed to pad his pants with Depends before the competition to avoid breaking a hip.

Next out was Libra, then Ollie, then Dan - followed by Jessie.  It was obvious that Max Muscles' heart wasn't in it; after all, he still had on his shirt.  Had he really been into the challenge, we would have been privy to a pre-comp strip-down and a few bars of "Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wall?"

After Jessie lost the competition, Memphis went out, which left two girls and one old lady hanging in/on there.  Yes, Renny ("The Dahlin' from New Ahlins") outlasted The World's Strongest Man in an endurance competition.  Granted, the event was slanted, literally, toward smaller, thinner people.  However, it must have been a blow to Popeye's ego.

Later on, Renny was the next to drop, leaving Michelle and April up against the wall. 

In the end, the two girls struck a deal:  Michelle would jump off if April would agree not to put Michelle or Jessie on the block.

April was given the HOH medallion and let the members of her alliance know that she wanted Memphis to go home.

Last night it was revealed that there would be another America's Player this season, but just for a week.  Votes were tallied and Dan was named the winner.

His first assigned task:  to get Jessie nominated.

Frankly, I'm surprised at America targeting Jessie.  Remember, this is the guy who saved all of L.A. from an earthquake.

Today the nominations take place, and April breaks her promise to Michelle, naming Jessie as one of the nominees along with Memphis.  Immediately following the ceremony, players are picked for the upcoming POV comp:  April, Memphis, Jessie, Libra, Jerry, and Michelle.

While waiting for the contest to start, April re-enacts the Jerry Boob Grab scene with Ollie.

The HGs end up waiting until after midnight to compete in the POV and Jerry wins the medal.  Others win prizes during the challenge:  April gets money, Libra a trip to Hawaii, Jessie a slop pass.  Unfortunately, Jerry gets put on slop as a consequence of the competition, and Michelle gets stuck with wearing the three-season-old red catsuit.

Embarrassed by her predicament, she tries to blend in with the fridge in hopes America won't see her.

Jerry lets everyone know that he's ready to tough it out on slop again, but no one is sure he'll be able to.  After only an hour without solid food, Jerry is found comatose in the living room.

Dan is able to revive him temporarily, but while making his way to bed, Jerry's arms begin to show signs of rigor mortis.

However, one of the HGs is able to concoct a slop cake that tastes just like chicken, and Jerry soon rallies.  He immediately gets back in the game, promising  April that he will not use the Veto. 

Hoppy trails,

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Live Feed Summary for Saturday, August 2, 2008

HOH Dog Pound

Today there is a question of alliance loyalty when Keesha and Libra begin to doubt Ollie's allegiance to the girls.  They share their feelings with April, asking her to dig deeper into Ollie's relationship with Jessie.

Ollie is grilled by April and her crew and becomes upset by it.  He and April have a loud argument as a result.

Later, Ollie tells Dan he isn't sure that he can have a relationship with April outside the house, saying that he usually goes for "classy girls".

I don't know what he's talking about. Nothing says "posh elegance" more than a live doggie-style sex show, and that's what April and Ollie entertain us with in the HOH room tonight after making up.

I'll refrain from posting a photo of April on all fours.  If you want to see it, try searching the internet or maybe a local kennel where it's sure to be a popular pin-up in many a Great Dane's cage.

Hoppy tails,

Thank you to Hamsterlady, Steviegirl, BonzaCat, Debra, Estfan, Saguaro, Kealoha, Smokey, Seamonkey, and MyTwoCents for the photos.

If you prefer audio updates, check out http://www.gcast.com/u/BigBrotherSeven/bigbrother10

More info on BB10 available at  SirLinksalot: Big Brother 10