Live Feed Summary for Sunday, August 24, 2008

Revenge at Knob Hill

Michelle, still upset about not receiving the phone call from America last night, considers taking revenge upon us by reviving....(cue "Jaws" music)...

....the Topknot.

Knowing that most of America doesn't get up until noon, she waits patiently in the living room to inflict teased torture.

However, she later perks up when Ollie reminds her of his deal with Dan.  "You're not going on the block.  I'm controlling HOH, and I'm choosing Keesha to go up." 

The good news is that Michelle is now in a better mood; the bad news is that she's so sure she's not going home, her cockiness makes her head swell - and you know what that means.....

Hoppy trails,

Thanks to Bonza, Debra, and Estfan for the photos.

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Live Feed Summary for Monday, August 25, 2008

Ollie Oops!

It's time for the POV Ceremony.  As expected, Memphis takes himself off the block.  Before Dan names a replacement nominee, he wants to play a game.  He calls it "HG Russian Roulette" and he wants each HG to name the person he or she most wants nominated for eviction.

Dan:  Michelle, who do you pick?

Michelle:  I say Keesha.

Dan:  Okay, how about you, Ollie?  Who do you want me to put on the block?

Ollie:  I pick Keesha, too.

Dan:  No, you can't pick her.  You have to say Renny.

Ollie:  But I want Keesha up for eviction.  I pick Keesha.

Dan:  I said you can't.  I want you to choose Renny.  That's how you play HG Russian roulette. 

Ollie:  But that doesn't make sense. 

Dan:  It doesn't matter.  Say, "Renny."

Ollie:  Okay, then, "Renny."

Dan:  How about you, Keesha, who do you want on the block?

Keesha:  Without a doubt, it's Michelle.  Look at her hair.

Dan:  Good choice.  Okay, Renny, it's your turn.  Who do you want me to nominate?

Renny:  I'll say Michelle as well.

Dan:  You can't.  You have to pick Ollie.

Renny:  But I want Michelle.  I like Ollie.

Dan:  You have to choose Ollie.  That's how you play HG Russian roulette.

Renny:  I don't get it. 

Dan:  Alright, Renny selected Ollie. Now it's time to name the replacement nominee.

Memphis:  I didn't get to pick anyone.

Jerry: Me either.  I choose Dan.

Dan:  Sorry, it doesn't work that way.  Some people get to pick, some people don't.  And out of the people who get to pick, some get to choose who they really want, and the others have to choose the people I tell them to.  It's a complicated game, but that's how you play HG Russian roulette.

:  No, it isn't.

Dan:  What?

:  That's not how you play HG Russian roulette.  It's not how you play any roulette anywhere in the world. 

Dan:  But it's Russian roulette houseguest-style. 

:  Then where's the gun?

Dan:  Huh?

:  You play Russian roulette with a gun.  I'll go first.  Pass the bullets.

Dan:  Never mind - I'll just make my nomination.  Ollie, because you gambled and lost the Russian roulette game....

Keesha:  Huh?

Renny:  What's he talking about?

Memphis:  How should I know?  He wouldn't even let me play.

Jerry:  This is all typical Judas stuff.

Dan:  As I was saying......Ollie, because you gambled with peoples' lives.....

:  Not true.  Not until we bring out the gun. 

Dan:  Forget it.  Ollie, I'm switching the game from HG Russian roulette to Vegas casino-style roulette, and I'm placing a bet on numbers 1-18, another bet on red plus a straight up wager on the double zero.  Therefore, since I have the house edge, that means you lose.  Michelle's going up.

Michelle:  What'd I do??

Renny:  Dan, your game sucks.

:  He should've brought the gun.

While everyone else sits dumbfounded, trying to sort out the rules of Dan's game, Ollie goes on a rampage in the backyard, upset that Dan went back on his word by nominating Michelle.  He throws things around, kicks a planter, breaks a lamp, and then moves inside, where he tosses things across the living room and kitchen. 

In other words, he's a victim of Vine Decline, which is what can happen to a guy who hangs on a vine so long that his mind starts playing tricks on him, making him think some bogus deal he makes before he jumps off is actually going to stick.  It happens more than you know.

Hoppy trails,

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Live Feed Summary for Wednesday, August 27, 2008

KO Punch to Crunch 'n' Munch

Renny spends most of her time today guarding the HOH snacks from Keesha.

The girl has become a bit of an all-hours chip chomper.

Any open bag seems to call her name.

To Keesha, nothin' says lovin' like Doritos from the oven...with a Hershey's chaser.

While Renny keeps a lockdown on the salted snacks, Jerry sets up camp next to the sweets.

When Keesha approaches him for a lick on a lollipop, Jerry asks her if she'd like a bite of his knuckle sandwich instead.

His methods are harsh, to be sure.  But like the suppository lessons of days gone by, he's doing this out of love.  After all, Keesha has already given up one capped canine to candy.

And Jerry says he won't let another one bite the dust.  "No, sirree, not on my watch!"

Minutes go by without a nibble, and Keesha soon starts to show signs of withdrawal.  Her jaws begin to shrivel in atrophy.

Jessie is brought in temporarily to comfort her and give her nutrition tips, as well as to warn her about the calcification building up in her knees due to excessive Frito-Lay joint pressure. 

Those things just stack and stack and stack, one upon the other, if you don't give them time to break down before you wolf down another bag.  It can get especially bad if you mix up a few Cheetos in there.  They're a real bitch to dissolve, not to mention that too many of them leave your knees looking like you botched your bottled tan application.  Ask anybody.

Keesha takes Jessie's words of wisdom to heart, and she joins the others in combing her bedroom for all the snacks and treats she's secured away in secret hiding places.

Later, she cowers in the corner, fighting the urge to succumb to an overlooked can of Salsa Verde Pringles taunting her from the kitchen counter.

She heads outside, away from all temptation, while Jerry contemplates how to keep enough votes to ensure Michelle's eviction this week over his.  He thinks he has Renny's support, and Memphis will probably vote for him to stay as well.  But he really, really needs Keesha on his side to make it a slam dunk.

So even though it's putting another incisor at risk, Jerry does what any HG committed to winning the game would do.  He finds Keesha outside, gives her a big hug, tells her he's there for any future suppository needs, and then pulls out from behind his back a vote-clincher if there ever was one:

Hoppy trails,

Thank you to Debra, MyTwoCents, and Estfan for photos.

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Just sharing some HG bunny sightings:

From Estfan

From Sunshyne4U

Love 'em!

Hugs,

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Live Feed Summary for Thursday, August 28, 2008

Knick Knack Paddy Whack Give the Dog a Bone - This Oll Man Is Going Home

This morning Michelle pulls out all the stops, trying to talk her fellow HGs into keeping her in the game.  I, for one, want her to stay.  The topknot and I have bonded in a way I can't explain.  Maybe it's because it's hair, and a hare spelled by any other way is just as sweet.

Plus, she can box and strip at the same time, and after having spent a lifetime trying to learn to walk simultaneously while chewing gum, I have the utmost admiration for people who can multitask to that degree.

Jerry is also working the house for votes, even going so far as to offer up his nubbies to Ollie for an April-esque boob grab.

Ollie, not wanting to embarrass Jerry in front of the others, quietly whispers in his ear that, even though Jerry's cleavage is prime Grade A breast, he prefers quantity over quality.

Later, as expected, Michelle is evicted from the BB house during the Live Show.  The remaining HGs are then treated to "a full week of BB in one night": an HOH comp, a POV comp, and another eviction.

In the HOH contest, the HGs are asked questions about potential news headlines, like "Which HG would be most likely to get lost on the way home?" and "Which HG would be most likely to save someone from a fire?" 

The end of the game comes to a tie between Jerry and Keesha when they both give the same answer to the question "Who is most likely to save the rest of the season from being the most boring two weeks in BB history?"  They both reply, "Bunny!" - and even though the matching answer ties them for the win, they're both sadly mistaken.  Not even I can rescue the final weeks with the HGs I have left to work with.  Don't believe me?  You try it.

Keesha and Jerry must now go to a tie-breaker.  "Draw a picture of Jerry grabbing April's boobs," they're told. "Accuracy counts."

Uncannily, they tie again, since both of them draw Jerry as a stick figure after days and days on slop, and both know that April's left boob is slightly smaller than her right. 

Jerry, having had first-hand tactile experience, was confident all along in his answer, while Keesha hoped her guess was good enough for the win, allowing her mind to wander to what awaits:  more tasty HOH chips.

Moving on to a second tie-breaker, the two HGs are asked the question, "How many times does Memphis say 'dude' in a sentence?"

Jerry's answer is 320, which is way too low, so Keesha wins because she covers all the bases by writing down several numbers and then picking one that tops Jerry's.  The correct answer is the one you can barely read scribbled under the number 500.  It says, "Two million three hundred seventeen."  And that's just when Memphis is talking to the fish.

BB wanted to ask the question, "How many times in a day does Dan say 'You know what I mean?' but any number beyond infinity wouldn't fit on those little boards.

Keesha makes her nominations:  Jerry again, and Ollie - then, the HGs immediately head to the backyard for the POV competition, where they must dig through bales of hay to find two Veto medallions.

Ollie starts out strong, determined to save himself from guaranteed eviction, but falls apart when he jumps into a pile of straw that looks way too much like a crow's nest.

Renny "caw-caw"ing in the background doesn't help, and he soon finds himself paralyzed in the middle of the haystack, certain that the birds will arrive at any moment to collect his eyeballs.

Dan wins the POV, and as expected, he rescues Ollie from his predicament and leads him back into the house. The vote is taken, and Ollie is evicted.  He makes his exit without a hug or a handshake for the others, which doesn't surprise me after his temper tantrum earlier in the week when Michelle was put on the block.

Did you hear about it?  Memphis tried to take up for Dan's nomination, and Ollie lashed out at Memphis in retaliation.  The fight went something like this:

Ollie:  Shut up, Memphis, you f---ing f-gg-t!

Memphis:  Okay, dude, no problem.

Ollie:  I mean it.  Suck my d-ck, Memphis!

Memphis:  I understand your pain, dude.  I'll just chill here, unmoved by your insults, 'til you feel better about things.

Ollie:  Man, I can't believe you're on Dan's side.  You know what you are? You're nothing but a...a...a red-headed Cabbage Patch kid!

Bunny:  Uh-oh.

Memphis:  Wha??  What did you just say??  Nobody calls me that, dude!  Do you hear me?  Nobody!  You've more than crossed the line now.

Bunny:  Yeah, Ollie, that's hitting below the belt.  Besides, you need to get your facts straight.  All kids born in a CABBAGE patch have green hair; the ones with orange curls are bred in a CARROT patch.

I'm a rabbit.  I know what I'm talking about.

Hoppy trails,

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Live Feed Summary for Friday, August 29, 2008

Be Wary of Jerry

The alliance team of Keesha, Renny, Dan, and Memphis have been discussing the fact that Jerry still doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom.  They've been afraid of bacteria spill-over from the time he spends in the kitchen.....and rightly so.

This morning, for example, Dan succumbs from cereal spores growing in his Nabisco Shredded Wheat, a direct result of Jerry's handling of the strawberries before Dan sliced them and placed them on top.

While in a state of reverie, Dan's mind wanders back to last night, when he won the POV and Renny leaped into his arms to congratulate him.

He makes a mental note to put in a call to Ashton Kutcher after the game is over, anxious to find out if making love to an older woman is, as he expects, "all that" and more.

In the meantime, Memphis is still rocking fashion in the BB house.

Work it, girl.

Late last night, the HGs competed in an HOH competition, and Germy Jerry was declared the winner.  It was this season's morph-o-matic event, and Jerry won when he recognized the photo of April's body meshed with Ollie's. 

"Not fair!" I cry.  After all, he had the advantage of being in the same room with the lovebirds (sorry, Ollie.....love-ERS) when they banged together in sweet sweet love.

Today Jerry makes the decision to put Dan and Keesha on the block.  He gives Renny a pass because he feels sorry for her.  She's been in the house so long that she's losing touch with reality.  Just today she forgot she wasn't a Christmas tree.

Keesha is unhappy that she's been nominated and breaks down in tears. She declares that she's too upset to eat - even though a few minutes later, she polishes off a box of Cheez-Its.  I wouldn't say she's too upset to eat - just too upset to chew.  Those Cheez-Its went down faster than you can say "mushmouth with dribbled chin crumbs."

Dan isn't taking his nomination much better.  Like Renny, he's starting to tip the stability scale a little, as demonstrated today when he was caught trying to talk a plastic duck into joining Swim Club.

Later, he even puts his life on the line by shaking Jerry's hand before peeling a banana.

And, of course, look what happened:  strepococcus strings.

Hoppy trails,

Thank you to MyTwoCents and Estfan for the photos.

Due to space restrictions, I cannot add more content to this website until some of the summaries have been archived.  Ryn from Ilovereality.com has happily offered to do that on his site, so I'll start on next week's recaps after he's had time to do that.

More info on BB10 available at  SirLinksalot: Big Brother 10