Live Feed Summary for Sunday, July 13, 2008

Jerry-Atric Wins First HOH
 
 

This year's BB contestants began the game a few days ago and are holed up in a house decorated to reflect the styles of several decades.  The kitchen and a bedroom are outfitted in 1950s mode, while other rooms are filled with artifacts from the '60s, '70s, and '80s. 

The bathroom takes us back to the days of outhouses - a clever decor but a bit scary as well, since most of us are now wondering:  Will toilet paper be available for the HGs? Or will they be required to tear off pages of a catalog to wipe their rear ends?  (According to the latest Charmin commercial, most TPs "leave a few bits behind." That's nothing compared to having a photo of the latest washing machine from Sears matted to your ass.)

Jerry, the oldest contestant this year at 75 years of age, must be feeling like his life is flashing before his eyes as he walks through the house.  Jerry seems to be an early favorite in the game, having won over the other HGs, most of whom voted for him to be the first HOH.  Rather than vie for the title in a competition, this year the winner was chosen upon first impressions.

Jerry also got a few sympathy votes, having been the only HG who lost fingers in both World War I and II.
 
 

Not to mention losing his hair in Korea.
 
 

I have a few first impressions of my own after seeing this year's group interact for the first time on the live feeds.  As soon as the HGs were signaled that the cameras were on, the entire tribe began to run through the house, screaming like banshees. 
 
 

No one sat out; no one said, "That's stupid, I'm not doing it."  Nope, they all ran, they all whooped it up, and a few of them stopped along the way to mug in front of a camera. 

After a couple of laps, they came to a stop as a group in the kitchen and just stood there, like "Now what?"  No one had given any thought to a plan of how not to look like idiots after the gallop across the grounds ended.  And those of us watching were forced to say out loud: "What a bunch of dorks!" 

So the first impression I had of ALL of them was the same one I had the year my father bought a camcorder.  The minute he turned it on for the first time, my siblings started acting like goofballs: running around in circles, jumping off chairs, punching themselves in the face as I sat on the couch watching them.  And I said out loud:  "What a bunch of dorks!" 

After a few minutes of post-dork time standing around the kitchen, the HGs began the annual BB ritual of trying to look cool.  It happens every year.  They are self-conscious when the cameras come on, and we delight in watching them pretend that they aren't. 

Take for instance Brian, who goes outside to smoke - when he never smokes in real life.
 
 

Of course, he apologizes on camera to Mommy for lighting up. 

Then you always have the girl who dresses for her onscreen debut.  This year it's Angie, who styled herself in a hat to match her top. 
 
 

It's summertime in California, yet for some reason, Angie deems a knit hat appropriate.  Maybe she's never been to L.A., so she took cues from BB8's Nick. Here he is on the season's first Live Show, suddenly realizing that his trunkful of ski sweaters would probably cause him to spontaneously combust around mid-August.
 
 

Speaking of BB debut outfits, here's a riddle for you:  What do you get when you cross Jesus.....
 
 

.....with Mango......
 
 

.....accented by a pair of gold platforms swiped off Gloria Gaynor at Studio 54?
 
 

Before I reveal the answer, be sure to bite down on a pencil first to keep from screaming.  I'm also not responsible for any sudden fainting, heart attacks, or an overcoming desire to leap from the nearest window.
 
 
 
 
 
 

Here she is, the Lady in Red who graced the first night of the live feeds with the best costume since Chicken George's spacesuit:
 
 

Bedazzler Renny!

And here she is heading for the shower to wash her fashion sin away:
 
 

She later tried to undo the damage by changing her outfit:
 
 

But somewhere, BB4's Erika was yelling "Been there, burned that."
 
 

Also fashion-forward for the Live Feeds preview was bodybuilder Jessie:
 
 

I'm not sure who he looks more like:

Mr. Incredible
 
 

or Dudley Do-Right

Gay bullrider Steven wasted no time in allowing potential admirers to compare his assets
 
 

to those of BB9's extra-large pizza on a platter Joe.
 
 

But just about the time a few lonely bachelors were trying to devise a way to crash the BB10 wrap party, Steven stuffed a wad of tobacco in his mouth and began to chomp and spit.  Good practice for lovemaking, perhaps, but a real turn-off nonetheless.

We've been enlightened about April as well.  First of all, she should be crying about her BB photo a la Jen since it's obvious her chin was unnecessarily elongated by some guy playing around with Photo Shop.  It's not that bad, really.
 
 

Sadly, though, it negates any ability she might have had to stab people in their sleep.

She can, however, provide them with extra pillow support since she announced to everyone that her boobs are really, really real....and, oh yeah, she never wears panties.  Hopefully, the 5-second censor's delay will protect us from any "Basic Instinct" moments on the live shows.

Benefiting from these revelations will be Ollie, the preacher's son who recently lost his virginity and has begun to put women before God.  He and April have already hooked up, and here he is the first time her skirt got caught in an updraft:
 
 

It's hard not to form opinions the minute you first lay eyes on the HGs.  It's unfair that initially, some come off dumber than others.
 
 

It's happened before.
 
 

Like, who knows if Jessie is really a pancake short of a stack, but he truly seemed scared that the Volkswagen bus stuck in the wall of the '60s room was going to hit him.
 
 

At least he's polite, always asking permission before going to the bathroom.
 
 

Others fared a little better.  Dan was wise to take advice from Jerry before the Live Feeds came on.  Here Jerry is also warning him that no matter how many explosions, construction accidents, or woodchopping contests you may be a party to:  Always treasure the one finger you have left.
 
 

Dan also takes stock in Jerry's fashion mantra:  Just because you wore Hot Pants in the '70s, doesn't mean you can't pull off the look today.
 
 

I don't know how Libra will fare in this game, although I think she's pretty smart.  After all, she found a way to leave two screaming babies behind for someone else to take care of.  She's probably hoping to stay in the Sequester House until they turn 18.
 
 

I'm also not sure about Memphis the mixologist.  I'm afraid he takes his job too seriously.  He always seems to have a glass close by at the ready, hoping for someone to request something exotic made with limeade and beet juice.
 
 

And I'm not sure I would trust him to mix ANY drink for me, seeing as how he mixed this shirt with these plaid pants.  Shades of the Howie School of L'il Abner:
 
 

And as far as Keesha goes, I think there's a Casting Director with a crush on BB9's Dani.  You got your blonde from Hooter's that never moves from the kitchen stool is all I'm saying.
 
 

As far as Michelle goes, apparently she missed inspection upon entry into the house and managed to sneak in the dwarf from BB9, hidden in her hair:
 
 

This season things are speeded up a bit.  Jerry had to nominate two people for eviction right away, and he chose Renny and Jessie.  Later, he won the POV and took Jessie off the block, replacing him with Brian.

My guess is that Renny will be the first to go.  There's too much potential for a December-December romance if she doesn't, and nobody wants to see that.
 
 

Hoppy trails,

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Live Feed Summary for Monday, July 14, 2008

Trashin' Fashion

Dear Renny,
 
 

Mardi Gras isn't until February.

And please tell your friend Libra that "Christmas in July" is just a myth.  No one actually dresses up for it.
 
 

Hugs,

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Live Feed Summary for Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Dames Bark as Flames Spark

So I was wrong about Renny being targeted for eviction, although she ought to be considered for her fashion sense alone.
 
 

I suppose she could just be a fan of Woody Allen. 
 
 

Or maybe she missed her prom in 1905 and is still trying to make up for it.
 
 

But it doesn't look like she'll be going this week.  We've had a POV Challenge since the nominations, and things have changed.

Speaking of fashion risks, though, I have to hand it to Brian for siding with Jerry on the Hot Pants issue:
 
 

However, I have to question his judgment in bringing Mommy's apron to the house as his one luxury item.
 
 

Understandable, certainly, considering his attachment to her - but he's now on the block because of it.  Every time he puts his thumb in his mouth and asks another HG to tuck him in for a nap, a red light goes off that maybe he needs to follow the umbilical cord back home to his blankie.

Just kidding.  He does love his mother and his sisters - A LOT - but thinking about them hasn't gotten in the way of his ability to arrogantly try to control the game from the starting gate. 

To catch you up, here's what happened:

First, Jessie won the Power of Veto after rolling in a vat of honey and coating himself in feathers.
 
 

It took more feathers to cover his massive body than it took for anyone else's, so he won.
 
 

In the meantime, Brian had formed alliances with almost everyone in the house.  They all found out about it and confronted Jerry, demanding that he replace Jessie on the block and send Brian home to his mum.

Jerry assented, and during the first POV ceremony of the season, Jessie removed himself from nomination and was replaced on the block with Brian.

Baby B was shocked, to say the least - much in the same way he is at home whenever Mama sends him to time-out.  But he began to campaign hard to stay, although at the moment it appears to have fallen on deaf ears.

It seems that Brian will be packing his apron and short shorts tomorrow on the Live Eviction show.  I hate to see it since he would have been good for some more over-the-top moves, not to mention a good crying jag if he ever made it to HOH and saw photos of you-know-who hanging on the wall.

Brian's impending eviction isn't the only thing going on in the house.  We have a romance between Ollie and April in full swing.  Ollie is the preacher's son and April is the one with OCD.  Isn't that the disease where you go off the deep end if everything's not in its place? 
 
 

If so, then how do you explain her ability to calmly eat her dinner with her hair looking like THAT? 
 
 

Maybe she was just trying to coordinate it with the mac and cheese.

Speaking of hair, the HGs have yet to discover the dwarf Michelle sneaked in.  Fortunately, he knows to lie down now when other HGs are in the room.
 
 

However, I can't imagine that he's not getting really, really hot under there.
 
 

Ask Elvis. Pompadours are like a furnace.
 
 

Boredom has already set in for some of the HGs, including Keesha, who spends a good deal of time sampling various flavors of nail polish.  Here she just says "nyet" to Acrid Apricot.
 
 

Just so you know, Brian isn't the only one missing home.  Poor Libra, who has rare twins (one black and one white), has resorted to placing the salt and pepper shakers in front of her to remind her of the babies she left behind.
 
 

After dinner tonight, Angie did a lot of last-minute work trying to save Brian.  She had Steven onboard as well as Dan, and thought she could talk Memphis into voting to keep him, too.  Steven was sure he could sway Keesha and Jessie to join them.

Angie later discussed the eviction with Keesha, who thought keeping Brian might not be a bad idea.  But when Keesha asked Jessie what he thought, Jessie wasn't interested in keeping Brian in the house. 

Later, word gets around to everyone that Keesha is being swayed by Angie to vote out Renny.  This sends April into a rage, and the next thing you know she's throwing a pool cue around the backyard.  All while prancing around in cut-offs and high heels. 
 
 

Nothing says "Violent Vamp" any better than that.
 
 

Here she is contemplating her attack.  "Has my pool cue been chalked enough?" she asks.  "Should I hold it limbo-style like Jessie and use it to trip my enemy rather than stab her head-on?" 
 
 

Michelle tells her that the way she uses the cue doesn't matter, but posing stylishly with it before the rampage DOES - that is, if she wants it to be the side pocket shot heard/seen around the world. 
 
 

As luck would have it, hidden underneath Michelle's pompadour is NOT the dwarf from BB8, but THIS guy:
 
 

A spear-throwing pygmy aborigine
 
 

He's more than happy to give April a few pointers, and she's soon tossing her stick across the yard like a pro, but somehow misses piercing Keesha's heart.

The attempted assault sends Keesha into meltdown mode.  She responds....on "cue"... by throwing a glass of water - because, as we all know, liquids are the BB Weapon of Choice.
 
 

Ollie begs Keesha not to blame him for April's outburst, but she implies that they are in bed together, literally and figuratively.  He says they're just sharing a pillow literally, but figuratively he doesn't have a clue what's going on.  She says that when someone is in bed with someone else literally, it usually means that figuratively they're on to something.  Ollie says not where he comes from, which is Iowa, where people sleep together all the time literally, but figuratively they're never up to speed.  Not even on cold winter mornings when they're literally in bed a lot.

April goes to the bedroom to cry and be comforted by Libra, not because her pool cue didn't hit its intended target, but because she broke a heel and the pygmy refused to pay for it.
 
 

The two girls make up after Keesha realizes that there's a reason behind her bad mood.  She hasn't been able to use the bathroom for days.  Jerry, always willing to share the wisdom of his years, tells her she needs a suppository - and when she asks for one from BB and gets it, Jerry goes a step further, instructing her in its use.
 
 

Keesha is shocked that Jerry knows so much - but Jerry's a military man, and they teach you a lot of important maneuvers during basic training, including how to unclog your colon while being watched by cameras hidden in the foxhole. 

After all the drama subsides, everyone retires for the night to rest up for tomorrow's Live Show.  No one's upset anymore except for Ollie, who is angry at April for calling attention to his association with her and accidentally strangles her to death for it. 
 
 

The good news is that with April out of the way, Brian and Renny BOTH get to stay, giving Brian more time to cut the apron strings and giving US more time to evaluate what compels Renny to don more costumes than Paris Hilton's pet chihuahua.
 
 

Hoppy trails,

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Live Feed Summary for Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Bye-Bye, Bri!

Tonight was BB10's first Live Eviction night and the HGs donned their finest duds for the occasion, with the exception of Ollie, who's all gangsta Johnny Cash, and Michelle, whose obsession with that topknot is getting downright scary.
 
 

I don't want to be too hard on Ollie, but it's tough to take the rapper threads seriously when we were treated to this view of him earlier:
 
 

Notice Michelle in the background working on The Hump.  Shocking how much effort goes into it.
 
 

Of course, where house fashion's concerned, Renny never disappoints.
 
 

Tonight she gives us Norma Desmond "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille" and it's magnificent.
 
 

Julie has a couple of questions for the HGs, beginning with Jessie.

Julie:  Jessie, the other night you had a hard time getting to sleep because Renny was talking loudly in a strange New Orleans accent that sounds like Cajun Creole mixed with the Bronx with a few dangling participles thrown in.

Renny:  Mostly I end sentences with a preposition, like Yoda. 

Jessie:  Yeah, and who can sleep when someone's screaming "Where y'all at?" all the time?

Julie:  So have you made amends since the other night, Jessie?

Jessie:  No, Julie.  R-E-S-P-E-C-T.  She needs to find out what it means to me.

Julie:  Renny, how do you respond to that?

Renny:  Dat dere punk be missing some shrimp from his gumbo, cherie. Is true is.

Brian:  Julie, if I could just point out here that I speak clear and concise English and will continue to do so if the others vote to keep me in the house tonight.

Unfortunately for articulate Brian, all but Dan vote to evict him. Rumor has it that his mother was standing offstage with a plate of meatballs and a bib.

After Brian says his goodbyes, the HGs go to the backyard for the HOH competition.  It's a question-and-answer game about each other.
 
 

Jessie wins when asked, "Who's THIS guy?" and he replies, "Never seen him before."
 
 

Jessie is elated at his victory, but fearing a repeat of the POV competition, April jumps on him to keep him from ripping his shirt.
 
 

Later, he's greeted in the HOH room with photos from home, mostly of himself.  This one is on the left wall:
 
 

And this one is on the right:
 
 

On the bedside table is a Before photo from his younger days, which serves as a reminder to take his steroids each morning before breakfast:
 
 

As soon as Jessie settles into the HOH headquarters, the others begin visiting one at a time to plead for safety from nomination.  However, Jessie isn't interested in listening.  He loves all the space he has now and can't wait to take advantage of it.
 
 

When Michelle tries to talk to him about the upcoming nominations, he tunes her out and asks her to shout "On your mark, get set, go!" so he can race himself across the room.
 
 

And when Angie pays a visit, Jessie tells her that he's hoping his newfound title will give him the power to think, something he's not been very good at in the past.  But he wants to give it a shot and see how it goes, so he asks her to time him to see how long it takes for an idea to form in his head.
 
 

But after a couple of hours, she begins to get scared that nothing will emerge.
 
 

When April tries to chat, she becomes angry after Jessie puts on one shirt after another and rips them off.  After all, he can't expect her to jump on him each and every time.
 
 

If I were him, I'd be careful.  He may be strong, but he's no match for an ool-pay yoo-cay.

After the newness of being HOH wears off, Jessie discusses his nomination plans with a few of the other HGs.  He is leaning toward putting two of these three people on the block:  Dan, Angie, Steven.  He seems to have formed a solid alliance with Memphis and Michelle. 

Memphis, because he does all he can to help Jessie remember his name 
 
 

and Michelle because she promised to teach Jessie how to get bulging muscles on his head.
 
 

Hoppy trails,

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Live Feed Summary for Thursday, July 17, 2008

Jesse Flexes Nomination Muscle

Renny is the first one up this morning.  She's anxious about the nominations that will be held later today, knowing that she still hasn't fulfilled HOH Jesse's respect quota. 

In anticipation of being placed on the block for the second week in a row, she uses her time alone to practice more Norma Desmond poses for her time in the spotlight.

Dan is also nervous, and he begins the morning by thumbing through the Bible he brought into the house to find a scripture to help prepare him for the possibility of nomination.  In his search, he skips over the one that, in my opinion, is the most important:   "When thou is on a 24/7 live feed reality show, thee musteth up the entertainment ante so that we paying heathens can get our silver drachmas worth."

Unable to locate a passage that will give him guidance, Dan takes matters into his own hands and approaches Jesse in the HOH room to talk his way out of a nomination.

Dan:     I totally understand why you nominated me.  I don't blame you one bit.  I stayed loyal to your enemy Brian even though I knew you would come after me if you were ever HOH.  So if you want to nominate me, go for it.  I'm cool with it.  Seriously, go right ahead and put me on the block, because I would do it if I were you.  No question about it.  I'm the guy who needs to go up - in fact, my bag is already packed.

Jesse:     I'm glad you see it that way.  Thanks, man.

Dan feels good after his talk with Jesse, sure that he's convinced him to look in a different direction for a nominee.  His best guess is that Jesse will turn his attention toward Steven, so Dan kindly offers his Bible to Steven in hopes he'll have better luck in locating spiritual words of advice.

Instead, Steven gets sidetracked trying to find out if God hates gays.  Or white anklets.

The other HGs spend the morning in various pursuits.  April, after being told that the viewers refer to the locked-up contestants as "hamsters," begins to practice a face that she believes will win favor with the fans.

And Michelle decides to take heed of the fans' overwhelming dislike for her perpetual topknot.  With no knives in the house, she resorts to chopping it off with the only sharp edge she can find.

BB announces that there will be a Food Competition soon, so the HGs worry that lunch will be their last meal before slop rations begin.  Dan cooks up a big batch of spaghetti (in honor of his long-lost Italian amico, Brian, of course).....

....while Michelle finds a good use for the hair she lopped off.

For the Food Comp, the HGs are divided into two teams, the Red and the Green.   They each don a beret and scarf in their team's color, and after seeing Ollie in the ensemble, Steven makes a note to rev up the Gay Rodeo circuit a notch by replacing his standard ten-gallon hat and plaid shirt. 

Each team is required to fill wine bottles with liquid that seeps out of a big vat, all while players on the opposite team try to plug the leaks. 

As with the Bible, Steven gets sidetracked again, using his time in the basin to practice his frog pose.

The Red team loses the challenge and Libra, Keesha, Jerry, Renny, April, and Memphis are on slop for the week.  Libra vocally blames the older HGs for the loss - not because they were slow, but because they were a distraction.

Who can concentrate on the task at hand when a specimen of this caliber is on display?

Jerry, happy to be regarded as a prime piece of meat, later practices his money shot for the almost-guaranteed offer he'll get from Playgirl.

And following his lead, Renny, in anticipation of being asked to appear in the popular publication Senior Sirens, practices a seductive position while dressed to match her bedroom decor.

In the meantime, Jesse calls Memphis and Michelle to the HOH room to discuss his nominations, which will take place today.  The three decide to put Dan and Steven on the block.

The Nomination Ceremony takes place soon after, and Dan and Steven are tapped for elimination by Jesse as punishment for developing a house friendship with recently-evicted Brian.  And, without a doubt, for not being buff.

April and Ollie retire early for the evening, eager to spend some alone time curled up under the covers. 

But as much as Jerry wants to call it a night, he's imposed upon by Steven to give another preview of his cover pose for Sexy Though Senile magazine - and in spite of Steven's relentless pleading to "Take it off, old man - take it ALL off!", he manages to keep it PG.

Hoppy trails,

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Live Feed Summary for Friday, July 18, 2008

Michelle Wins POV By a Hair

The HGs wake up early for this morning's Veto Competition.  Dan and Steven, as nominees, will compete along with HOH Jesse, Libra, Michelle, and Keesa.  Jerry is chosen as Host - and fresh on the heels of yesterday's Playgirl premonition, he dresses to impress.

The competition takes place, and Michelle, now free of the extra weight of her pompadour, easily takes the prize.

Keesha has recently bonded with Steven and is upset that he won't be able to use the POV to take himself off the block.

While her tears distract her, Jesse takes the opportunity to check her tibia anterior muscles and rate them a ten. 

He then tries to cheer her up with a shirtless seated Samba.

It works temporarily, and a newly-energized Keesha begins a campaign to get Michelle to use the POV to replace Steven on the block with Libra, pointing out to the other HGs that Libra is responsible for most of the trouble in the house. Many of them side with her, but Memphis counters with the argument that Libra keeps attention off everyone else.

"This idea clashes with our general overall plan to evict Steven, then Dan, then Renny, then Jerry," says Memphis, but he makes no mention of how his print shirt clashes with his plaid pants, a much bigger sin.

Later, Michelle assures Memphis that she won't be using the POV to save Steven.  She plans to leave the nominations as they are.  Even though she has the power to change them, she doesn't really feel it.

It's perfectly understandable, considering the circumstances. We know from the story of Samson that losing one's hair can cause bouts of weakness and incapacitation.  With the topknot now MIA, Michelle feels powerless to alter the course.

I, on the other hand, have gained super powers by virtue of a little rabbit pelt teasing.  One girl's trash is another girl's treasure.

Hoppy trails,

    -----------------------------------------------------------------

Live Feed Summary for Saturday, July 19, 2008

Libra's Scales Unbalanced; Ollie Ollie's Oxen Freed

No easing into the morning today!  The HGs are barely awake before Libra is confronted by Jerry.  He is upset about hearing that Libra wasn't happy that she was saddled with "the old people" on her Food Comp team.

She's a Pacist.

A Pacist is like a racist, but it's prejudice against people with pacemaker potential.

Anyway, here's how it all goes down.  Libra is sitting on the bed talking to April.  Jerry enters the bedroom and tells Libra that he heard what she said about losing the comp because of "the two old slow people" on the team.

Libra screams:  I DIDN'T SAY "SLOW," JERRY!!!

Jerry:  Did, too.

Libra shrieks:  DID NOT!!!  I SAID "OLD," BUT NOT "SLOW" BECAUSE I'M NOT LIKE THAT.  I WOULDN'T SAY THAT.  I KNOW JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE OLD AS A TREE DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE SLOW TO BOOT.  SURE, YOU'RE OVER THE HILL, PLAYED OUT, GOT ONE NAIL IN THE COFFIN, AND HAVE REACHED AN AGE THAT TOTALS 500 IN DOG YEARS - BUT I DIDN'T SAY YOU WERE SLOW.  IF I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT A SLACKER, I'D POINT A FINGER AT THAT DRAG-ASS RABBIT.

:  Who, me?

Libra:  YEAH, YOU!  YOU'RE POKY AS A POND SNAIL!

:  Well, I admit that sometimes it takes me a while to write a summary.....

Jerry:  Yeah, you're so slow you're moving back-assward.  But I'm not.  And Libra said I was.

Libra:  DID NOT, JERRY!!

Jerry:  Did, too.

Libra:  WHO TOLD YOU THAT, JERRY?  WHO TOLD YOU I CALLED YOU SLOW?  COME TO THINK OF IT, WHO TOLD YOU I SAID YOU WERE OLD?  I DON'T THINK I SAID THAT EITHER.  I SAID THE TEAMS NEEDED MORE BALANCE.  THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY OLD FARTS ON THE OTHER TEAM AND IT WASN'T FAIR THAT WE GOT BOGGED DOWN WITH YOUR ANCIENT ASS.   I JUST SAID THE TEAMS WERE A TAD UNBALANCED, THAT'S ALL.  SO WHO TOLD YOU THAT?

Jerry:  The other senior citizen on the team.

Libra:  OLD BAG RENNY???  SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT.  RENNY.....RENNY!!!!!

Libra dresses down Renny for blabbing to Jerry, all the while denying that she referred to them as "old people" who lost the competition for the team.  The outburst is heard by everyone in the house, and gives Steven the impetus he needs to work on swaying Michelle to use the POV to save him.

When that tactic doesn't work, Steven tries another:  Butt Bongo.

He offers himself up in the backyard for Michelle to play any tune of her choice.  And although she's tempted - after all, BB won't allow them to have music piped into the house - she turns down the opportunity.

All is not lost, however.  Even though he may not stay in the house through the week, the "exposure" he's given himself should be enough to start mass ticket sales to his newest idea for a rodeo show:  Bareback Mountain.  Unsaddled horses and their saddle-bag visible riders will compete in a hilly obstacle course.

In the meantime, no one notices that Ollie has gotten in touch with his feminine side......

......while Jerry gives us a glimpse of the Marine uniform he submitted to the Corps for consideration.  They only passed because there were no pockets for bullets.

And in another room, Dan is channeling porn star Harry Reems.....(bow chick-a-wow wow)

....as Memphis dances on the table, showing us what happens when a mixologist samples too many of his own creations.

As the night draws to a close, Ollie and April share their undying love for each other with the world.

And, because of Ollie's refusal to wear a condom, he may have planted the seed for a new TV show:  BB10-1/2: New Kids on the Block.  It airs nine months from today.

By the way, it's only against Ollie's religion to drink, smoke, and curse.  It's NOT against his religion to bang a girl on live TV in broad daylight.

Hoppy trails,

Thank you to Debra, MyTwoCents, BonzaCat, Steviegirl, Kajunmommie, Estfan, LuvBBPlayers, and Kealoha from TVClubhouse, Sunshyne4U, and Pizazz from RealityRatPack for the photos.

More info on BB10 available at  SirLinksalot: Big Brother 10